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Survivor: Vanuatu Episode 7

Sometimes a hero rises up, even if we just laugh at him.

Day 16 at Lopevi and Chad says John isn't pulling his weight with the work. Cut to John saying, "There's really not much to do around here." Like, if only there was some work or something, maybe I wouldn't be bored. Chad and Chris complain about John behind his back.

At Yasur Rory is very happy to be there. He now goes to work on three more days and talks to Ami about how he deserves to stay longer than Eliza. She tells him her motivation is the fact that no all-woman alliance has ever stayed together in the game. Interesting thought. It's true though. Two woman have faced each other before the jury only twice, in Marquesas (Vecepia, Neleh) and Pearl Islands (Sandra, Lill). Neither of those pairs were allies during the game.

So Ami is telling Rory he's out of luck because he's a man. She tries to make the excuse that he wouldn't be loyal to a bunch of women anyway because of macho peer pressure. "What about the guys back home?" This makes Rory stuttering mad. "Don't treat me like I'm some sort of lackey!" he finally spits out. The shunned male tells us he's now going into "self-destruct mode." Does this mean he pushes a button and his secret lair explodes?


I will not make
a "last leg" joke.

The Reward Challenge is completing an obstacle course, one person at a time, carrying a small dish of coconut juice. The goal is to fill a bottle with juice which will take a number of trips through the course. If someone spills their whole dish they have to go to the back of the line. The winners get a trip to a "Home Café" for coffee, croissants, and "love from home." Sarge sits out because there are lots of small spaces to crawl through.

Eliza beats John in the first heat. Balance and flexibility are more important than strength in this one. Chad passes Leann in the next leg. Fast forward to Scout pulling the Boston Rob Memorial intentional spill so Eliza can go again sooner. It comes down to Leann vs. Julie for the win. Leann finishes the course first, has enough juice and heads back to the finish line, but she needs to carry the bottle with her! She runs back for it and hustles for the finish line.

SHE FALLS.

You couldn't script a screw-up any better than that. Thankfully for Leann's suicide watch, she doesn't spill the bottle and New Yasur finally tastes victory.

The first commercial at the next break is for the "Home Café", in stores now. How convenient.

At the Vanuatu café, there's a bulletin board filled with pictures from home. Each person also gets letters. Here come the tears. Ami's parents sent her a picture of her little brother who had died in a car accident seven years ago. Rory's letter from his wife tells him to control his temper, which makes him reconsider pushing that button.


"I didn't blow it!"

On Day 17, Twila and Julie talk. Twila asks if the men approached her with an offer for the final four. Julie turns it around on Twila. Twila nods yes. Julie says they had told her the same thing.

Except Julie was lying. She tells the camera she just wanted to get the truth from Twila and swing her back away from the men. "My plan worked! For right now," she says.

The next day a slingshot arrives in the mail. Sarge says Yasur is like a high school team going against an SEC team (that's the Southeast Conference, a group of big time college football schools).

Rory is wired on coffee and ready to take some names.

As always, the goal is to break hanging plates but the twist is each person is assigned a column of four plates. When all four of your plates are broken, you're no longer a shooter. The first tribe to break all twenty of their plates wins. So the strategy is for the good shooters to break the plates of the bad shooters.

Chris sits out. He's a worse with a slingshot than Julie??

Sarge hits one of his own plates. Oops. Eliza and Twila stink. Julie isn't so good either. Yasur leads 8-5. Why? "Rory's on fire!" Jeff says. Rory is fist-pumping and yelling like a champ.


The Café of Tears.

18-17 Yasur. Rory busts #19. John shoots like a girl. Rory has a shot at victory. He hits the plate but doesn't break it free. On his next turn Rory says, "This one's for my baby boy!" Boom. Rory is the king of the Vanuatu!

"Today I rocked Ami," the king later says. He explains that she could've had him as a strong ally, or she could have knocked him out of the game, but she failed at both. "Now she's number one on my hit list." Is Rory a mobster or a pro wrestler?

Ami says Rory is getting cocky, but the man did own that Challenge. Ami says she's sad either Julie or Twila will be leaving.

Over at Lo Lo, Chad and Chris talk strategy. Chad says he thinks Julie will run to the women if there's a merge. Chris trusts her and wants to get rid of John. He argues that the women voting off Lisa shows it's not an alliance by gender.

Chris and John now talk. John says he trusts Chris, and he wants Chad gone because he'd get the sympathy vote. John then tells the girls to vote for Chad with him and Chris. Why does John trust Twila? "All rough rednecks that I've met are pretty loyal." How can you argue with that logic?

At Tribal Council Sarge praises Twila's work ethic. John says Twila should take naps and admits he's the "number one napper going." Jeff asks John how he justifies all the sleeping. John says he works when asked.

The only vote we see is John for Chad. There's no way Sarge and Chris vote off Chad.


Julie has good form.

The tally reads: John, Chad, John, John, John. See ya. The young Survivor men are extinct once again. Quick trivia: Who was the youngest male to win Survivor?

Answer: *Ethan in Africa*

Next time on…Survivor: Julie and Sarge tan their but-tocks. "Rory reaches his breaking point." Evacuate the lair. "And everything is turned on its head." The merge or a new twist?

John wonders why the guys turned on him since he wouldn't have turned on them. I'm sure he meant besides when he voted for Chad just then. Insert eye-rolling here.

As dumb and lazy as John was, I think the men just guaranteed the winner will be a woman for fourth straight time. We went male-female-male-female-male the first five seasons but the ladies haven't lost since.

Sarge and his buddies could've evened the gender score at five apiece by losing Julie. Then you kiss Rory's butt and try and welcome him back after the merge, and if that doesn't work you have Twila as a back-up. Now Julie's still around to whisper in Twila's ear, and the other four women seem tight. The wild cards are Eliza and Julie who may be too jealous to let Ami or Scout call the shots. We shall see. But if a woman doesn't win this, it means the game really got shook up, or somebody screwed up bad.

Girl power!


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