Julie writes in and says, "Dolly reminds us of Britney Spears' country cousin." We had a similar comment at our Survivor party as well. I will now proceed to run that joke into the ground.
It's Day 4 and the men are already eating bugs and worms. That's a bad sign. They try to make fire again and fail. That's not a good sign either.
Over at Yasur…holy bloodsuckers, Batman, those are some huge bats! The ladies have Lisa boosted up to try and get some fruit out of a tree. She almost drops her machete which could have punctured one of her implants. And you thought the volcanoes were dangerous.
They get the fruit, start cooking it, but find maggot-like worms in it. Twila eats it anyway. Dolly is the first to cry. "I'm so happy to be here," she says, choking back the tears. It's as if she's Not A Girl, but Not Yet A Woman.
Back at Lopevi, John P. pulls Travis aside and asks if his name came up before Tribal Council, as one of the "physical, young vibrant guys." Travis says yes, because J.P. is a threat to them. Why is Bubba being so honest so soon? Why is John making a Sean Penn face?
The Reward Challenge involves another balance beam. Now Chris is the one fighting back tears. Each tribe will line up on the beam out in the water. The object is for the person at one end to squeeze past the others all the way to the other end. You can't touch more than one person at a time. If you do, or you fall, you have to start over. The Reward is a hammock, pillows and blankets (plus flint if the men win). Scout sits out.
I did this same game at a team-building camp once and the trick was to have one person squat down so the other person can just step over them. Jeff didn't specifically say you couldn't, but maybe they edited that out. This group just gets chest-to-chest and holds each other as they slowly try to pass. Let the homoeroticism begin.
Eliza makes it across for the ladies. Brady is successful for the fellas. Julie gets through but John can't get past Bubba. The women now have a 4-1 lead. Ami touches two people at once and has to start over. John falls in at Bubba again. Five women complete it, then six. Mia is last and does a victory dance. No flint for you!
Back at camp, Rory is mad at Mia's boogie. Lea says it wasn't a big deal and they would've done the same thing. Rory keeps yelling about it being classless. After he storms off Lea talks with the others about Rory. Would he trade him for one of the vibrant ones?

The men fall for each other.
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Day 5 and a chicken walks by the women's camp. They chase it. Dolly throws a rock at it. She's feeling Stronger than yesterday. They corner the bird under a tree stump. Twila tries to stab it but it flies away. Somewhere Outback Kimmi waves her finger for joy.
The females do get five chicken eggs. They start to boil them but the logs under the pot break apart and the pot tips over. Oops! They Did It Again.
Ami says the tribe is dividing into two groups. Mia, Julie, Dolly, Eliza and Lisa as the young ones (Lisa must have applied for a silicone exemption), and Scout, Twila and Leanne as the older ones. Ami says, "I gravitate more toward the older group."
Twila talks to Dolly about voting strategy. Dolly says her group had talked about voting off Twila but now they want to keep her because she works so hard. Dolly drives me Crazy with her honesty. She pinkie swears that she won't vote for Twila.
The men tie the spirit stone to the top of a pole to try and reverse their fortune. It immediately starts to rain causing Rory to say, "There's magic on this island."
The Immunity Challenge is the return of the blindfolded scavenger hunt. The players are tied in pairs and some puzzle pieces are out in the water. Dolly sits out. She's so Lucky.
Scout and Sarge will be the seers/yellers. Right off the bat, Bubba runs into Mia. Dolly laughs as the women hit each other Baby One More Time. Sarge sends JP tripping over some tree roots.
Bubba walks all the way around a piece before finding it. The men have an 8-6 lead.
Scout: "Water team, you gotta pick one up right there a bit!"
BAM. They run right into it at high speed.
Scout: "There it is."
Even Jeff winces. Somewhere Big Tom is having flashbacks.
The men only need one more. Twila walks face-first into a pole. The women are only two short. Rory's group waits for the last piece to arrive and for some reason he starts chanting. Lea yells at him for making noise and interfering.
The women get another piece and Scout tells them to take off their blindfolds. Not so fast, says Jeff. They still have another piece all the way out in the water. The men now have a huge lead as they start to assemble their puzzle.

"Lea! Lea!"
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After the some fake drama, the men win the challenge and go nuts. "Say my name!" Lea bellows as he gestures in the general direction of his crotch. Now there's some class.
It's game time for the women. Dolly tells Julie they're thinking about voting off Eliza because Dolly doesn't want to get rid of Twila. Julie defends Eliza and asks Dolly if she'd vote off Leanne instead. Dolly agrees.
Now Dolly is telling Ami that they're voting off Leanne. Why why why? You've got to be smart. Not Sometimes. Everytime.
Dolly must see herself as the town crier, because now she's letting Scout in on the plan. Scout says she wants Eliza out and defends Leann. Scout's reaction to Dolly's plan: "I nearly dropped my teeth!"

Scout almost dropped these.
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Ami sunbathes with Leanne and Eliza and confesses it's between the two of them, because Dolly, Julie and Mia are trying to run things. Is Dolly a Slave 4 them? Eliza says maybe they should vote for Dolly instead. She goes to Dolly and asks if she's voting for her. Dolly says no. Eliza tells us she doesn't trust Dolly.
Off to the first female Tribal Council. Dolly has her sideways homie cap on. It's her Prerogative (in stores now! By the way, I have been spelling "prerogative" wrong my entire life. My apologies to Bobby Brown.)
Twila says Scout, Ami and Leanne helped her the most with work. "The rest of them worked hard in their areas too." What areas? Napping? Tanning?
Leanne says she's quiet. Jeff asks if that could work against her. Leanne says, "I get the feeling I'm going home tonight."
Dolly announces to the world, "I'm kind of the deciding factor tonight." She's really not good at this.
Time to vote. Julie writes down "Leane" and says Dolly's running the show. Mia votes for "Leigh Ann." That's a new one.
And that's all we get. The tally starts with the two Leannes we saw. Then a third one. Then a vote for Dolly, not Eliza! Dolly again! And a third, to tie things up! "What?" Mia asks. Vote four for Dolly. Vote four for Leanne. We're going down to the wire. And the last vote is for…Dolly!!!
That means Dolly ended up voting for Leanne. Who turned on her? The uncovered votes after the show reveal that Eliza was the guilty party. Interesting.

Dolly looked like this the whole episode.
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Next time on…Survivor: Mia and Twila go at it, prompting Twila to talk about that "scrawny bitch's ass." Good family fun. Sarge and Rory fight some more, this time over Rory's lack of work. Then Jeff says one person from each tribe will be going home. Whoa.
In Dolly's final words she says, "I'm way too simple and I just belong on the farm." You got that right. You can't handle alliance building any worse than she did. At different points she was talking about voting out three different people, and she didn't try to hide any of it.
But Eliza's move was just as bad. Sure she saved herself this week. But to do so she aligns herself with the group that had her as their first choice to remove? Even if she can convince Lisa, Julie and Mia to trust her again, they still only have a tie in votes. She is in bad, bad shape. Better ogle while you can, boys.
Next week's twists should be Toxic!
[Hey kids, how many references to Britney Spears songs did YOU find? Highlight between the asterisks to see the answer!]
*The answer is: Scott knows way too much about Britney Spears because there are 11 songs mentioned!*
Your Pop Star,
Scott
Email us! Survivor@DangFun.com
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