But first you have to read my Vanuatu Reunion recap.

Think back to that night Chris won the million. Envision Twila and her wicked '80s bangs. It's all coming back, isn't it?

Chris says the turning point for him was how, after Julie and Twila turned on the men post-merge, he stayed calm while Sarge and Chad got very angry at their former allies.

Eliza says she's learned to love Twila after seeing the show on TV. This will be a recurring theme.

Chris says he did consider the jury when choosing Twila for the final. It's about time someone does.

Leann is looking very good. She uses the "I told Twila I'd never write her name down" line.

Jeff asks Ami why an all-woman alliance has never worked. Ami says women have a hard time supporting and believing each other.

Twila talks about The Swear. She says she fully meant it at the time, but changed her mind when she saw herself finishing fourth. Twila's son is in the audience to tell us how it feels to be damned for second place.

Julie says, "I love Twila. I think she's a great player." Watching the show however left her "disillusioned" by Chris.

Sarge says he's forgiven Twila too. Come on. Somebody's gotta be holding a grudge. Where's the jealous resentment?

We learn Chris made his fiancé think he was voted out after her Challenge! Ouch. Jeff sums it up by saying, "Chris can lie to anyone."

Ami says Chris' fiancé's tears helped Chris get sympathy. Sarge says he has a new outlook on civilians and he better understands how some people live day-to-day.

Chad says he was treated so equally that eventually he started wanting people to notice his leg again. "Hey look, this is kind of impressive!" he says. Good guy. He should be very proud of himself.

Scout says her artificial knee was the wrong size. I hope she kept her receipt.

Jeff gives the early losers some pity camera time. He mentions how Brook was so frustrated because he was such a huge fan of show yet he stayed the shortest. Brook talks about getting beat by the "fat five."

Bubba has lost weight and says he's a winner because he appreciates his family more.

Dolly is as cute as ever.

John P. says he got a Home Depot commercial deal. You can lose on Survivor. Home Depot can help.

Brady got married and John K. says he's going back to school but he doesn't seem too stoked about it.

Rory regrets not burning down the camp. Everybody laughs. We missed Rory at the end of the show.

Next time on…Survivor: Another island. But this one has World War 2 ruins. There will be 20 castaways this time (yikes) and a "dramatic" twist to start the game. Survivor: Palau is coming this spring and you know I can't wait.

Jeff tells people not to apply for future Survivors if they're going to quit. Somewhere Osten gives up.

All in all it was a bland hour. No big scandals, no good fights, no secrets revealed. Good thing I have huge Jeff news coming.

But first, let's take one last Vanuatu look into the Dang Fun mailbag.

Leslie asks, "This seems to be the most boring Survivor season ever. Anyone agree?"

Now that it's all said and done, I will agree it wasn't the most thrilling season. What are we going to remember from the season a year from now? There weren't any real "Whoa, that was CRAZY!" moments like Ted/Ghandia, or any superstar characters like Rupert. You know what you are going to remember about this season? The huge Jeff news I'm about to tell you.

Claire writes in and says, "Thanks for your little Amazing Race tidbits at the end of the Survivor pages. I was wondering if we could get you to write a summentary of the Amazing race, please please please?"

If you would have said please four times I would have done it. But seriously, I'm loving this season of the Race but we're too far into it to start reporting on it. If the rumor is true though I'll write about the next one for sure. What rumor? The one I'm about to tell you.

Lastly, Annie ponders: "My Survivor buddies and I have been discussing the possibility of Julie and Chris having had sex. First and foremost, do you think Julie would have been reduced to such abject tears, drama and heartbreak if it was nothing but an everyday 'game' betrayal?"

Certainly an interesting and nauseating thought. However I know for a fact no such thing happened. Why? I'm about to tell you.

IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE HUGE JEFF NEWS.

Jeff has a girlfriend.

Don't throw your tomatoes at the computer screen just yet. There's more.

He's dating a Survivor.

From this most recent season.

Who could it be? Think about it….think about it…now guess.

It's…

JULIE!

So many offcolor jokes, so little time...

It's true!! Jeff himself admitted in People magazine that he contacted her after the show and it sparked a romance. The associated press carried the story too. Can you believe it? I guess that Jeff/heart "tattoo" worked pretty well for her.

And the Amazing Race rumor? Word on the interstreet is that Boston Rob and Amber are going to be contestants in the next Race. This one I don't believe because I found the interview where they said they wanted to be on Amazing Race so that's probably where the rumor started. Plus the Race wouldn't be same with "celebrities" who already have a million bucks.

But the Jeff thing is legit. He has an alliance with Julie. He has voted her onto his island. I will not make an Immunity Idol joke.

Survivor: Palau will be here soon. Stay tuned!

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