Here's the deal. To save us all some time, the recap of the recap will be indented to keep it separated from the new stuff they gave us. Let's ride.

Eighteen players, three tribes, only a machete, no fire, one military for hire.

We learn Rob M. and Tom also agreed to an alliance early on. Tom doesn't trust him, and rightfully so as Rob calls Amber his primary pact with Tom on the side.

Naked Rich, lazy Jenna L. on raft, Saboga loses.

Boston Rob looks good in a wig.

Chapera acts out their version of Saboga's first Tribal Council. Rob C. does a dead-on Jeff Probst (there's more of this online by the way, and it's golden). Sue plays the part of Rudy, and Rob M. is Ethan complete with a coconut soccer ball and fake black hair! Hilarious. Tom puts on a diving mask and comes out of the water to become Rupert and Alicia becomes Jerri by saying, "I just want to pour some hot chocolate over some hot guy's body." Oh man, this is brilliant.

Amber stuffs her tank top to impersonate Tina. Sue does double duty as Jenna L. and she jumps up and down just to be there. Tom growls like Rupert, Rob M. asks how his hair looks and Amber has a big accent. They even do the awooo and sing the theme song. So good. Easily the highlight of the show.

Much jealously, Tina out.

Colby is having some problems. "Yeah," he says, "things down in the nether region have become a big chapped." He walks around bow-legged to try and air things out while Richard and Kathy share a laugh.

Ethan wins Reward for Saboga, all get flint, Rupert jumps and, uh, waves to the camera.

No one at Chapera understands Tom either. Ha! Boston Rob says, "You gotta have a special degree to speak Big Tom."

Ethan and Jerri sink Saboga's boat, Rudy out.

Rudy: "I'm going to keep doing this till I win."

Rich vs. shark, tools for shelter Challenge, Rob impresses Amber, Rupert's folly. Chapera wins bedding, Jenna M. quits, huge storm, Rob and Amber cuddle, Saboga drowns, Jerri cries.

Jerri fights with Rupert about the new shelter plan. It's harder to imagine a person more annoying.

Chapera wins toiletries and toilet, they get rice from locked box, Tom takes beating in blindfold Challenge, Chapera blows lead on puzzle, Rob M. lies to Rob C., votes him out. NOOOOOOOOOO! Saboga loses again, is dissolved.

The Chapera women make necklaces. Whoop-dee-doo.

Ethan takes header in battle zone, Rich junks Sue, Rob dominates. Colby bamboozles Rich, Sue quits, Mogo catapults for food.

Gone but never forgotten.

Coffee was included in Mogo Mogo's Reward and they get buzzed. Colby does a cartwheel. Way to promote drug use, CBS.

Commercial: Another Jesus movie. Everyone's sure on the Lord Almighty bandwagon.

Rob cuddles with Amber and Jenna at the same time. Amber says she's not jealous because she has Rob wrapped around her finger. Rob says he wants to have fun spending his million with Amber after the game. Or, "worse-case scenario, we'll be spending hers."

Reward and Immunity combined, Chapera wins, brings Kathy on yacht for bbq. Colby and Ethan want Jerri out, Lex turns on Colby, still a dumb move. Log roll for looting, Chapera wins again, get rice and fishing spear from Mogo. Rob makes out with Amber and duels Rupert for fishing crown. Jerri stinks with a bow, Lex turns knife deeper into Ethan.

Next time on…Survivor: Back to Thursday night. Everyone expects a merge but there's a "bizarre twist" that forces someone to "do the unbelievable." Rob: "The next move I make is going to have serious consequences." Announcer Guy: "Plus, gather your friends as the Survivors play the ultimate trivia Challenge. Win, stay in the game. Lose, go home."

Well, Sir Burnett is going to try and shake things up. It's about time. I only hope it punishes Mogo Mogo even more.

As the credits roll we get one last new clip: Rob and Tom are sharing a moment as the sun rises. Both sigh deeply. Rob quickly turns away and says, "You need another shower, bro."

Not a bad filler episode at all. The All-Stars may be boring strategy-wise, but they sure are funny.

And we all know that's all that counts.

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