Scott,

I'm lost...Did I miss your recap of the Oct. 16th Survivor? Did you drink too much rum, swallow a gold tooth and end up in the hospital? Without your insightful recaps I just can't function.

Jeff S.

An excellently-worded question. No, I was just out of town last Thursday and didn't get to see the show until Saturday night. I meant to warn you all but, uh, I seem to missing a good tooth.

After last week's episode I saw on the CBS web site congratulations to Drake for tying S4 Rotu's record of six straight challenge wins. I suppose that's one way to look at it, but it's much more fun to focus on the losers.

On to the show and it is Night 12 at Drake. Shawn admits that he voted for Burton but Jon tells us this only happened because he tipped Shawn off about the rest of the tribe's intentions. "Vote however you want," Jon quotes himself. "I suggest you vote Burton." Michelle is understandably worried as she was the only one left out of the loop. "I'm in trouble," she says. "I'm out here completely by myself."

The next morning, Rupert doesn't waste time in making his presence felt at Morgan. He explains to his confused new tribemates that it is the changing moon that is drawing the tide further up the beach, and he says they have no choice by to move it. Osten however would prefer to wait until their beds are actually submerged. Osten is a perfect litmus test for stupidity.

Morgan kept it together for about 30 seconds.

The rest of Morgan shows they posses a shred of common sense and ignores Osten. He follows up with the lazy request not to move the shelter as far as Rupert would like. Morgan then shows they only posses a shred of common sense by considering his idea. Rupert explains, "These guys work very hard at not working."

Blackbeard's wisdom prevails and they start the move. The frame looks very good and is carried in one piece…but when they try and put it down it completely falls apart.

With the room secured, Rupert now turns his attention to the board. He shows them how the spear works (pretty interesting rubber band mechanism) and he takes Ryan out fishing. Rupert is impressed with Ryan's willingness to learn and says he's comfortable with Ryan. Post-merge foreshadowing perhaps?

Rupert snags a rather large fish but as Ryan tries to get it into their bag his Morganity emerges and the fish slips out of his grasp into the ocean. Rupert goes back out on his own and returns with a bunch of fish. He is King of Morgan.

The mail for the Reward Challenge is written on an oar and makes reference to getting clean. Rupert says he wants to win to prove his value to Drake.

The Challenge is a boat race and four sets of ladder rungs have to be brought up from the sea floor. Back on shore one person will run into the jungle to pull an idol out of a well while the rest of the tribe assembles the ladder. The first tribe to climb the ladder with their idol wins a portable shower, a big pot, water cans, soap, shampoo, sponges and more. Rub a dub dub.

The race begins and Drake can't steer their boat. Rupert does the diving for Morgan and they pull way ahead. "Drake is completely off course," Jeff says. "Jon is using the rudder as a paddle." The dude hasn't got a clue.

Rupert stays undefeated.

Morgan wins in a blowout to get their first piece of the treasure map. Rupert is given the choice of enjoying the reward with Morgan or returning to Drake on the spot. "I love you guys," he says to los Morganos, "but I have to go home."

Morgan doesn't seem to care. Regarding their win, Andrew says, "A lot of it was Rupert," but he thinks they're in sync now. Rupert doesn't get all the credit, huh? Who was going to dive for Morgan, Osten?

Naturally the shower just goes up in the middle of camp and Darrah uses it with no shame. It's certainly no S6 bathfest, but I don't hear any complaining.

Back with his Drakes, Rupert gives a report on Morgan including how worthless Osten is. He also says they're desperately low on food.

Andrew shows up to loot and he appears to be bringing a gift. Some coconuts? They don't tell us. Rupert kindly suggests Andrew take some of their rice, but not all of it. Andrew kindly agrees to only take a portion. It's a nice gesture on both sides.

Rupert says he's worried about how he's perceived now that he's in good with Morgan. Andrew says he's thinking about the merge and wants to be diplomatic toward Drake. Smart moves on both sides.

The Immunity Challenge is Ye Olde Gross Foode Challenge. Trish is worried but Michelle is not. Jon wants Michelle to act like she can't handle it so Morgan will pick her in case of a showdown. Michelle says she'll be "all girly girl about it."

Rupert finds a pet snake and names him Balboa. The guy seems destined for his own show on Animal Planet.

Andrew honors his liege.

To get us queasy this season we have a blender, a spinning wheel and an assortment of sea delicacies like squid, octopus, and "bleeding clam." Take that, Fear Factor.

The first round is not a race. You just have to finish your "smoothie." Sandra has some problems but gets it down. Michelle acts worried…then chugs her drink in seconds. "Michelle, having no problem," Jeff says. So much for that. Jon and Christa roll their eyes.

Jeff asks Jon to explain his stupid gang sign and he babbles his own praise before offering Darrah a kiss. Jeff asks her what Jon's chances would be and she says, "Nothin'." It's always fun to mock the cocky.

Darrah struggles with her drink and Osten surprisingly does not. Jeff calls Christa a freak and Trish has some big problems but gets through.

Sure enough, each tribe picks one person from the other team to compete in a tiebreaker race. It'll be Darrah versus Sandra. They get an extra nasty concoction with a bonus sardine to eat.

Darrah gags and spits some filth back into her glass. Yummy. Sandra's not having fun either. It's slow going for both of them. But finally, Darrah wins! Morgan is victorious for the third time in a row!

Sandra thinks she's in trouble for failing. Jon is mad at her but tells us he's really pissed at Michelle for ignoring the plan and he flips off her ego.

Shawn tells Rupert that Michelle should go but Rupert tells us it could be Shawn. Michelle later approaches Rupert to plead her case. She suddenly starts to puke as the sweet emotional music plays. In between heaves, Michelle makes a good point about preparing for the merge by axing Shawn now.

No Oscar for Michelle.

At Tribal Council Jeff asks about the day's event and Sandra says, "We didn't even plan to lose this Challenge." Jeff asks Jon about it and he finally admits they threw the previous Immunity Challenge. Jeff rips into them for giving Morgan all the momentum. Michelle calls Jeff's explanation crap, but Rupert agrees with it. He says he was against tanking from the start and calls it a stupid move.

Voting time and Michelle casts hers for Shawn saying he'd be most likely to jump ship after the merge. Jon votes for Michelle and says something stupid.

The tally reads: Michelle, Shawn, Michelle--she's done--Michelle, Michelle. It's unanimous.

Next time on…Survivor: Morgan is invaded by a pelican and Drake does more yelling. Jon and Shawn go at it, but Sandra says Shawn should be careful. Are they hiding info on Jon? What possible redeeming qualities does he have? Maybe everybody is planning to take him to the final.

It would have been hard to top a great episode like 4 and, well, this one didn't. But we have the extra plot twist of Morgan actually winning a challenge without Rupert and without Drake cheating. Don't look now but they're one Immunity away from going into the merge at even strength. Who would've thought that just two weeks ago? That's why it's NEVER wise to lose on purpose. The punishing power of Mark Burnett is great.

May none of your clams bleed,

Scott

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