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Survivor 7: Episode 4 Summentary

Very fun episode this week. A little surprise, a little nature, a little grim reaper. Just another day at the office in Survivorland.

Day 10 and Morgan is sinking fast, literally this time. The tide is rising and it's only a foot away from their shelter. Time to move it? "I really don't want to do that," Ryan says. Because that would make too much sense. Instead they try and build a barrier out of sand and wood. Newsflash: The ocean is stronger than sand. The ocean beats rock into sand, for crying out loud. "It's almost comical now," Ryan adds. No, it's been comical. Now it's out and out pathetic.

Drake is feisty today. Jon yells at everyone for not helping him work. Shawn says he doesn't like Christa. Christa doesn't like Shawn, Michelle or Burton. Burton laughs at Rupert's butt crack. Happiness all around.

The Reward Challenge is a relay race to collect sixteen puzzle pieces. Eight are buried in the sand and eight are under water. The winning tribe gets a smooth old-fashioned sewing machine and cloth. Shawn, Michelle and Christa sit out for Drake.

Team Winner already has a 2-0 piece lead when Tijuana runs out into the water and falls out of her clothes at both ends. She has trouble diving and Drake builds a 9-3 lead. Osten can't dive at all and says he's about to drown. Ryan and Andrew have rescue him. The outcome is never in doubt and Drake wins yet again.

Willetta writes in and we'll let her take it from here: "Morgan is by far the stupidest tribe to ever be marooned on an island. A lack of skills can be compensated for if you have some strategy, but these people have none. Osten and Tijuana are not strong swimmers so why didn't they go for the buried pieces first like Drake did? Osten may be strong but he's the biggest handicap they have."

It's just hard to fathom how one group of people can continue to make such obvious blunders. How many times has Osten struggled while swimming, or complained about the water? The guy is easily the biggest paradox to ever play the game. I mean, are those pectoral implants? Is he wearing a Hans and Franz suit? How can a guy with such a well-built body be absolutely worthless??

Back on the beach, weird-braid Christa and Rupert make new clothes. Christa admires Rupert for being willing to sew. The guy should start his own fashion line.

Drake now has the complete treasure map so they go hunting again. The key is to find the "devil's fork." They all fantasize about what could be in the treasure chest. Jon becomes the first Survivor to say "wet dreams." Loser.


"Mmmm…death…"

After some frustration builds, Shawn and Michelle finally locates the buried chest. What do they find inside? "A stench so awful," Shawn says. "It smelled like death." I guess the Reaper almost came by twice today.

There are some chocolates in the box that cheer everyone up. But most of the other stuff is pretty damp and moldy. "I called it Ghetto Christmas," Jon says. He's just like Rob from last season, only rude, crass, and not funny.

Morganites Ryan and Andrew want to try fishing on the other side of the island. Do they take the boat? No. Do they walk along the beach? No. They decide to walk across the middle of the island through the thick jungle. How have they not stockpiled Nobel Prizes?

Trish comes to loot for Drake. Osten fears she'll take their last pot but in an act of mercy she takes a lantern.

Ryan and Andrew are lost. Shocking. They finally get to the other side and the water's way too rough for fishing. These guys have the anti-Midas touch. They could turn a Mercedes into, well, my car.


Rupert doesn't skirt the issue.

During Night 11, Burton and Rupert talk alone. Burton says the two of them are the biggest targets so they should lose Immunity on purpose and vote off Christa. Not sure why she would hold the key to their successs.

We hear Rupert give the "he would be dead" quote from the preview. It's obvious Burton is trying to play Rupert.

Tree Mail says the Immunity Challenge is a combination of checkers, chess and "professional wrestling." Michelle says they are in fact going to lose so they can vote off Christa. Rupert however tells Christa they're going to vote off Burton. Rup says he can't lose on purpose so he's just going to sit out of the challenge.

The game is a grid of planks over the water. The goal is to get your tribe to the other side of the board. If someone's in your way, there's a hand-to-hand showdown and the first person to hit the water has to go back to the start. Are we going to have a Robb-like choking?

Jeff says the winners not only get Immunity but also "a little something else." Rupert is joined on the sidelines by Burton and Trish.

Osten and Michelle have the first showdown and Michelle almost jumps into the water. They could at least make it look like they're trying.

Shawn wins a couple battles but Morgan is getting the rest of them. Jeff pauses the game and asks why Drake has two of their strongest guys out in a physical challenge. Someone's been doing his homework. They claim it's just a rotation so everyone gets a turn.

The farce continues until Morgan wins for the first time. Tijuana cries and Jon winks. But hold on--Jeff says the "little something" is Morgan gets to pick one member from Drake to live with them until the next Immunity Challenge! They instantly choose Rupert, and suddenly we're about to have two tribes of six. Considering Drake previous voting advantage, they essentially lose three players for tanking the challenge. Serves them right.

As Drake prepares for their first Tribal Council, Jon does a bad Macho Man Randy Savage impression. At least he didn't rap.


It's hard work being this dumb.

It looks like we've got Burton, Shawn and Michelle versus Christa, Sandra and Trish, with the Macho Man in the middle. Which Slim Jim will he snap into?

With such a big decision looming, Jon figures it's time to bust out the booze. He gets wasted. He drunkenly says he has a one-on-one alliance with Shawn, a five-person alliance with Trish, Rupert, Christa and Sandra, and a four-person alliance with Shawn, Burton, and Michelle. "I'm the freakin' puppet master." He punctuates his celebration by skinny dipping and jumping into Burton's arms. That's the smallest blur you'll ever see.

At Tribal Council Jeff goes right after Jon. "Are you loaded?" he asks. "Yeah," Jon says, still thinking he's God's gift to all things dangling. Jeff asks how he'll vote and he says it'll be based on the "astrological signs." Jeff is not pleased. "Is that a respectful way to treat somebody that you've lived with for twelve days?" Go ahead, Jeff, slap him one.

Christa votes for "Bert" and he returns the favor. Jon struts up and casts a hidden vote, saying, "Now-can-you-feel-that, sucka?!" Royal twit.

I think he's going to side with the "cool people" and vote out Christa. He strikes a gansta pose as Jeff reads the votes. Christa, Burton, Christa, Burton, Burton…Burton again! He's gone! Very big surprise. And why were there only two votes read for Christa? There couldn't have been five votes for Burton, could there?

The show ends on that high note. In the preview we see Shawn confessing that he voted for Burton! Ryan says, "The smartest thing this tribe ever did was get a hold of Rupert." That's not saying much. But Rupert's in great shape. They will worship the skirt he walks in.

Burton says he's disappointed but he knows he was a threat. He boasts that the challenges will be a lot harder without him. We see the votes and, sure enough, it was five to two. Excellent dramatic editing.

Belinda writes in and says, "I still don't understand why any of the tribe would choose to boot off Burton over JON. If anyone needs to go it's him - he is the most annoying idiot on the island!!"


The stubbled one stumbles.

You won't get any argument from me on Jon's idiocy, but look at it this way: Drake was set up with two groups of three and Jon playing the middle. By letting the Albino Twig think he's calling the shots for one vote, Christa, Sandra and Trish now have all the power, especially when Rupert gets back. They can vote off Jon and Shawn in any order they want. It's an excellent example of voting strategically and not emotionally.

I really don't know what Shawn is thinking here. Lorisa points out that he has probably already targeted Jon as the guy he wants to face in front of the jury, which makes sense, but unless he already has secondary agreements with a one or two of the Drake Dames, he's not going to make the merge let alone the final two.

A great episode from top to bottom complete with a new twist. Will Rupert take full advantage of his preview of the Morgan members? Will Drake completely trust him when he returns? Will Osten find yet another way to screw up? Stay turned.

Oh yeah,
Scott


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