Are you ready to give away some money?
We start with a recap of the first 36 days: They jump in the water with no supplies or extra clothes. Jon is complimentary of Sandra speaking Spanish. Rupert steals. Morgan is lame. Six Challenges in a row. Drake tanks. Lose three people in a row. Outcasts return. Osten quits. Burton and Lill back in. Lill stabs Andrew. Jon and Burton slay Rupert. Loved ones. The Lie. Burton rewards Jon. The girls finally get bright. Darrah triples her Immunity. Burton is beaten. Oh yeah.
Day 37 and Jeff shows up with breakfast. Lill immediately breaks down and starts hugging him. "I love that man," she says. "I wonder if he'd like to join the troop." Keep it together, Lill.
Jeff pulls out letters from home. So much for that. Lill is a wreck. She toasts Jeff, as if he personally carried the mail from America.
Jon is sick of Lill's emotional theatrics and wants to use it against her. He says the women have a bond because they share an inferiority complex to men.

Don't hate the player, hate Jon.
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Jon yells at Lill in front of Darrah, saying Lill's crying would let her easily win in front of the jury, but Sandra and Darrah are smart enough not to take her. Lill takes the bait. "Is that true, D?" she asks. Darrah unwisely says she doesn't know what she's going to do and Jon eggs her on from behind Lill.
Darrah also takes the bait and tells Sandra she wants Lill gone. How did Jon do that? That's some demonic art.
Lill now wants to talk to Sandra alone and she tells Jon to leave. Lill's sprouting some cajones. She tells Sandra they have to lose D because of her Immunity skills. Jon returns and agrees to vote for Darrah.
So Jon now has two options, and neither involves him leaving. "Isn't that crazy?" he asks.
Mail says to head to Tribal Council for the next Immunity Challenge. Jon isn't worried because he's the "king of men" and they're just women. "If it's a getting-pregnant contest, yeah, they could probably win, but other than that?"
The jury appears and Burton has a dumb goatee. Twist alert! The jury will also be competing for Immunity. If they win, no one is safe. Everyone will answer survival and pirate questions and the jury will work as a team. First person/group with five right wins.
Jon, Lill and the jury get the first question right. Sandra, Darrah and the jury get question two right. The jury has two and everyone else has one.
The third question is: What's the best way to avoid shark attacks? A. Make no sudden movements. B. Don't make direct eye contact. C. Cover any open wounds. D. Don't go in the water. Think about that one for a second.
Lill says C, and Darrah, Sandra and the jury say A! Of course the answer is D and only Jon gets it right. He's tied with the jury for first.
Everybody knows the Pacific is the largest ocean so it's Jon/jury 3, all others 2. Which side of a ship is starboard? I never remember this. The jury is the only one to know it's the right side. They only need one more correct answer.
Panama borders Colombia and which country? Lill and Jon know it's Costa Rica, but so does the jury! Game over and no one is immune.
Jeff asks about the letters and Lill's floodgates open again. Jon rolls his eyes. Sandra says you can't even take a "piss break" or people will talk about you. Lill says she knows people talk about her because, "I take piss breaks." Lill doesn't like what the game has made her. You mean like saying "piss breaks" on national TV?
Jon says he hopes the others recognize he's the least likeable and will want to take him further. But Jeff asks if someone like Lill might not want him to even get second place money. Plant that seed.
Vote time. Lill votes for Darrah, because she turned on Lill. Darrah votes back at Lill because the jury would pick her.

Crouching Sandra, Hidden Agenda
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Tally. Did Sandra and Jon coordinate or could we have a tie? Darrah, Lill, Darrah…Darrah again! Sandra and Jon are more afraid of losing Immunity than they are about losing the final vote right now.
Darrah calls out Jon and Lill for being snakes. Funny how that works since Sandra turned on Darrah as well.
Tree-mail comes in the night telling them to be ready at sunrise for the final Immunity Challenge. The morning brings rain and the dreaded dead Survivor tribute. They will put the extinguished torches on a wrecked ship then set the ship on fire. Ha ha--Jeff says Osten's torch won't be there.
The Survivors are supposed to comment on each defeated player. Regarding Nicole, Jon says, "Rockin' body." He's so deep.
Lill says she didn't cry until Ryan S. was voted out. Uh, that was on Day 6. And she hasn't stopped crying since.
Jon calls Rupert "one of the greatest guys to ever play the game." That's cool. Osten gets no comments but they show a clip of him drowning. Hee hee.
The final three fires muskets and the ship ignites. There had to be some special effects involved considering the rain and Jon's shooting ability. And, again, nothing like taking advantage of poor countries for American television. "We're going to start a monstrous fire on one of your islands. Here's 50 bucks."
The Final Immunity Challenge is balancing on a small raft, but you can use your hands (the water is really choppy). If your knees or butt touch the raft you're out. Fifteen minutes in and the waves get bigger. Sandra falls!
Jon immediately tries to make a deal with Lill. She tells him to shut up and he has to yell over her to finish his offer to take her to final if she lets him win. But Lill says he has to let her win. Jon says he can't trust her, so there's no deal. Go Lill!
Thirty minutes have now gone by. Jon asks Lill who she wants to face in the final. She doesn't give him an answer. Still no deal.
Two hours in. Jon now says he will give up in exchange for a promise of the final. Lill again won't do it! Guess she doesn't want to go against Jon. Jeff asks Jon how confident he is of winning outright. "Not extremely," he says as he almost falls. "Not at all I guess."
Two hours and 45 minutes. Lill looks like she could sleep in her squatting position. Jon is in agony. He turns over so his front is facing up. As he tries to turn back, he loses his balance, and his knee hits! Lill's first Immunity will get her into the final!
Back at camp the winner is limping and talking about herself in the third person. Sandra reminds her that she also has a husband and kids at home. But Sandra tells us if Lill's smart she'll take Jon. I can't disagree there. Jon thinks he's gone though, probably based on Lill's refusal to make a deal.
Never giving up, Jon tells Sandra how everyone hates him, but Sandra would start with the votes of Rupert and Christa. Will she base it on character or greed?
At Tribal Council Jon says paying tribute to Burton--his friend--and Rupert--the best chance at a unanimous winner the game has seen--were hardest for him. He's working the jury already.
Jeff asks Lill what she's basing her decision on and Lill says it's a person she can beat in the final. Greed always wins. It's gotta be Jon.

"Here's a million bucks, Sandra."
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Lill votes and Jeff reads….Jon! "Oh my God!" Sandra says. She's as shocked as the rest of us. Does Lill honestly think she has a better chance against Sandra?
Jon is proud that he didn't play fair and he can't wait to see his grandmother.
Back at camp, Lill says, "We are what they call the two sole Survivors." What does 'sole' mean again?
Lill says she hopes she has more friends on than jury than Sandra, but she also wanted Sandra to get more money than Jon. There's the truth. She sites them both having families while Jon talks about drinking and chasing women.
Day 39 is finally here. Sandra points out that no one has voted for her once. That's impressive. She thinks it'll be a close vote today. They leave camp and look back for the final time. Look at all the stuff they're going to put on eBay.
As they (very slowly) row away, jury members talk about what they want to hear. Burton wants honesty for the first time. Loser. Darrah gets choked up. She's pretty bitter too. Rupert wants them to appreciate where they are. Jon shaved except for the world's most hideous mustache.
In her opening statement before the jury, Sandra says she deserves to win because she was a team player who was always willing to vote with the majority, and she worked hard. No mention of Lill's Outcast status. Not a very convincing opening.
Lill says she just wanted to be herself. She's in the third person again. Lill says Lill wanted to be kind. "Three different people told me that, 'Lill, we're taking you to the final two with me.' Turns out all three of these people kinda turned their back on me." Terrible opening. So her logic is, "I was nice, but you all lied to me, so give me the money"?
The jury members now get their turn. Ryan is first and finally someone mentions Lill being voted out of the game. He should be Sandra's lawyer. Lill responds by saying the time out of the game was very hard. Sure it was.
Ryan asks Sandra if she rode anyone's coattails but she says no. She says she, Rupert and Christa looked out for each other, and she points out she did just fine after Rupert left. Maybe not 100% true, but it's a good argument.
Rupert brings up Lill's scout morals and says she lied to him the whole time after the merge! He's really attacking her, and wants to know if anything she told him was true. Lill says she was honest when they talked about their families. Rupert waits for her to say more, but Jeff tells him that's probably all he's going to get.
Cap'n Blackbeard asks Sandra if she knew he was going to get voted out. She says no and says she voted for Jon that night because she thought the others were voting for Darrah. She talks about how she went off on Jon after the vote, which is true. She then almost scolds Rupert for not listening to her warnings about Jon. Rupert seems very satisfied. That's one vote for Sandra.

Should they pick Dumb or Dumber?
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Tijuana asks the standard: Why should the other person not win? Lill says because Sandra disrespected many people, calling them "an M F'er," and because she didn't make decisions on her own. Sandra says Lill voted each person on the jury out while she didn't vote for Christa or Rupert. Again, the Outcast angle probably would've come in handy here.
Christa talks about Lill always apologizing for things like winning a reward or voting people out, and "hiding behind" the Boy Scouts. Lill says she was sincerely sorry at those moments and didn't lie in the game until she voted out Rupert, and that was to stay in the game.
Christa happily asks Sandra what her craziest scheme was and Sandra says it was when she and Tijuana eavesdropped on Burton and Jon. That's two votes for Sandra.
Burton asks them to rate their survival skills on a scale from one to ten. Sandra says five because she could gather food but couldn't build a fire, and so she would "probably starve." That made no sense.
Lill gives herself a seven because she can build fires and get water. I think Burton was fishing for the suck-up here since he was a big provider and neither person took advantage of it. Is Sandra's lower self-rating good enough for him?
Darrah wants the truth on how they got there. Sandra says because people had other targets bigger than her so she was able to keep attention off her. Lill says she wasn't viewed as a threat because of her age. She adds she did some following and some acting on her own. Again, I think D wanted someone to kiss her butt and say, "We did it by lying to you, Almighty Immunity Winner."
Jon struts to the stand. "My question is for Jeff," he starts. "Can I vote none of the above?" Dummy. He then asks them about representing their backgrounds, Sandra as a Puerto Rican and Lill as a Boy Scout leader. Sandra says she was no worse than anyone else in the game and she looked out for herself because no one else would. Lill says she wouldn't wear the uniform if she could do it again. She admits she didn't represent Scouts well with her lying. This is her best reply so far.
I'm very disappointed in Mr. Fairplay. I was expecting a lot more fireworks. It wasn't even a good question. Lill's home life should have nothing to do with the game, and Sandra's ethnicity is even less relevant. One more booo for Jon.
Sandra gives her closing statement and says she never tried to present herself as something she's not. She was open and direct, willing to help with her vote, and has no regrets about any of her actions.
Lill repeats that she shouldn't have brought her Scout uniform. Then she goes off a bit. "Whatever you guys say about my honor, my integrity, it's bull$#!&. It's that way here. It's not that way at home!" She says she had no choice but to lie and she'll tell her Scouts to separate the game from real life. I think Lill is trying to win the wrong trial. They're going to give someone a million dollars, not send them to liar's prison. And, I didn't go to law school, but I'm guessing berating the jury isn't the first thing they teach.
Time to vote. As expected, Rupert votes for Sandra, saying they were "blood brother and sister" from the start. Three or four unseen votes are cast. There has to be one for Lill, right? Finally Tijuana casts hers because she couldn't tell if Sandra had a real strategy or got just lucky with the right alliance.

Who's your mommy?
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Jeff goes for the vote urn. This is the moment of truth: How will Jeff get back to the U.S.? "I will see you on the other side," he smoothly says. The Probst walks onto the beach. Is he going to swim home? No, they just cut to a live shot in L.A. Bah. I was beginning to love Jeff's cheesy adventures on the open seas.
Whoa, nice hippie shirt on Jeff. What's going on there?
Flower Power reads the votes. Sandra (cheers from the audience). Lill (equal cheers. Dumb applause sign). Sandra. Sandra! Is it 6 to 1? Yes! Sandra wins!!
Wild cheering! Hugs from Papi and kids! Recap of the reunion, and final analysis of Survivor: Pearl Islands coming soon!
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