On the way home during Night 33, Sandra feels like she's the next got go but Jon tells us Darrah is their next target because she's a stronger competitor.

The next morning Sandra says she plans to sabotage the camp for revenge. She's going to slowly hide the water tanks, knives, spear and more. "I know I'm going down but they're going to feel it more than I am. Yes they are." A little bitter are we?

Burton and Jon talk to Lill about Darrah getting the next vote. Lill isn't happy. She was under the impression they had an alliance of four. "I started thinking," she tells us, "if they can screw her over they can screw me over." The light finally comes on.

The Reward Challenge is the "second chances" one that combines aspects of previous challenges. I'll explain it as we go along. The winner gets a trip to Panama City, a night in some historical old ruins, and a lot of food.

Sandra wants to play hide-n-go-seek.

Lill is the first to untie herself and start digging under the bamboo fence. Burton gets through and keeps both nipples. Lill is first to the compass point circle but can't figure it out. Lill starts talking to herself. "What direction is Z?" Just kidding.

Burton now leads and uncovers his key. "Come on, old girl, focus!" Lill says. She's gone mad.

Burton is the first to construct his pole and retrieve his key from outside the jail cell. He's way ahead as he breaks three plates with a slingshot. No one else is even out of the jail as Burton spells out "Jolly Roger" with his letter tiles. Winner!

He naturally gets to pick a buddy, and it'll be Lill for strategy, right? No! Burton takes Jon and leaves the women behind! You can just feel the game turn…can't you?

On the boat, Burton says he and Jon agreed to take each other because they're tired of sharing rewards with people they don't like. When they get to the city we realize this is also the car reward! Burton gets a new GMC Envoy. It's an SUV with camping equipment built into the back. It sure beats an Aztek.

Jon says Burton deserves the car, even over him. "Win, lose or draw," Jon says, "you're the only person that I like in this game." Does Jon have a crush now?

They drive right into the middle of the city destroyed in Cap'n Morgan's day. You gotta love third world countries. Could you imagine Survivor setting up shop at Gettysburg?

The feast includes a big pig. Burton laughs at Jon having food all over his face. They toast to the girls eating nothing but muscles. Cocky bastards. Burton says the women have been riding their coattails the whole time.

The coattail riders talk at camp. Lill confesses to Darrah that they wanted to vote her off before Sandra! Sandra points out the three of them would just have to vote off the guy who doesn't win Immunity. Are they going to do it??

Not so fast. Lill says even with the women she'd only get third place because they had already said they don't want to face her in the final. But Sandra reminds her she would have a much better chance at winning the final Immunity without Burton there. They agree to stage the overthrow!

Sandra seems sad her sabotage plans are now on hold. If they can pull this off, I think she'll get over it.

Back in the Envoy, Jon asks if they have to worry about the women uniting to turn on them. Burton says he's confident they can get one of the three to turn back. He tells us he might not be able to trust Lill after the Darrah talk, so they'll approach Sandra as well just in case. Burton reminds us that the women couldn't strategize to save their lives.

Is the man-love too obvious?

Day 35 and Lill is even more psychotic. She says she can't sleep and she's in pain all the time. She says it could be menopause. The world thanks you for sharing.

Sandra asks Lill if she's afraid of Burton. Lill admits her fear is that Burton will win Immunity, then "attack." Sticks and stones, Lill. He can't do anything to you.

Lill takes her pants off again. Darrah and Sandra know Lill might not be stable enough to stick to their plan. Sandra says she will agree to vote however Jon wants in order to fool him.

Darrah and Lill meet the men as they return. The guys ask if Sandra tried to get them into an all-female alliance, but they deny it. Lill is lying! You go, girl!

Burton sees it as an act, but he's confident they'll get the truth out. He isolates Lill and questions her but she snaps back at him and doesn't crack. Fight it, Scout!

Jon works on Sandra who is bundled up in bed. He offers the final three and Sandra makes him swear on his grandma again.

Lill tells Burton she'll vote for Darrah.

Jon makes Sandra swear on her kids, and she does! But she tells us, "I swear on my kids that I'm gonna screw you and Burton."

Immunity time and Jeff tells Darrah, "Back to back it's been on your…back." Booo. The Challenge is a race along five planks. To unlock each one you have to fill a canteen with water and pour it into a tube so a ball tied to the key floats to the top.

Darrah is first with a full canteen. She fills about half the tube with it, but is able to reach the key anyway with her skinny arm!

Darrah gets her second plank but falls into the water. Jon gets his second, but Darrah recovers and now has three! "All that weight loss, coming in handy," Jeff says.

Darrah is the first to four, but Jon matches. He needs to go back for more water. Darrah is still ahead as she releases the final plank. She just needs to keep her balance and carry her flag back to the start. Take your time…. Darrah wins!

Ms. Colby?

Three in a row. Forget Jenna--is Darrah going to pull a Colby?

Burton is vulnerable again.

Jon says Lill is now next. She's not talking to them so they can't trust her. Jon approaches Lill and she gets defensive before he even gets started. Atta girl.

Jon smells a trap. He tells Burton that Lill's stressed out because she has a deal with the girls. Burton says it's only because her body is breaking down. He does think Lill and Darrah may be getting close so he thinks Sandra is their best bet for a third vote.

Sandra tells Burton the other women don't talk to her and she will vote for Lill. Burton believes her willingness to do whatever it takes to stay. Jon says, "I don't even think they share a whole brain or obviously they would figure out, 'Hey, we can get rid of these guys.'" He adds they'd be better off scrubbing potatoes and mopping floors, and that he's just smarter than they are. Soak it all in.

At Tribal Council, Jeff says Jon has to be impressed there are women in the final five. Jon kisses the butt saying Lill is the strongest one there, Sandra is tough, and Darrah has three Immunities.

Jon says he's afraid of Tribal Council. "This has turned into--surprise!--Tribal Council every time. I don't want to be on the other end of a surprise." Burton says he feels "awful" when someone gets blindsided with the vote but it's the only way to make sure you don't get blindsided yourself. Are they reading from a script?

Burton votes for Lill saying he doesn't want to face her in the final. Jon does the same and says in falsetto, "I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore! You're nice." Then he mumbles, "Have a nice day."

Will this nutty nut crack?

Tally time and we've got real drama. The fist vote is for Lill. Another Lill. A Burton. A second Burton! One final vote…and…it…goes…to…….BURTON!!! Huge yell at the Dang Fun viewing party.

Jeff snuffs his torch and says, "For the second time, the tribe has spoken." Burton is now the first person ever to lose twice. Jon is now wetting himself. Rupert and Christa exchange pounds.

Mr. Probst: "You have become masters of the blindside, which should make these last three days very interesting…. Three of you are together. Only problem: Ain't nobody playing for third." Word.

This SUNDAY on the finale: Who will win? "Darrah, Lill the scout master, Sassy Sandra, or Survivor's most notorious liar, Jonny Rotten." Why doesn't D get a nickname? I still like Nubnut.

Burton says he wants Jon to win. But get this: "Lill, I hope you can live with yourself. We had an alliance, you broke it." Nancy writes in and says, "Burton questions Lill. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, HE VOTED FOR LILL, HE broke the alliance. Does he realize how stupid he looked in his final statement? I just love this show." Unreal, huh? I hope Jeff busts him on it this Sunday. You can't be more pathetic in defeat.

The best part is, none of this happens if Burton doesn't arrogantly taking Jon on the Reward. Ladies and gentlemen, Burton just committed Survivicide.

This is the point where I usually predict who can beat whom in the final, but last season I wrote Jenna could only beat "Hitler, maybe Saddam Hussein," so I think I'll try something different. Let's try to predict how each potential jury member would rank the remaining players. For example, Ryno would obviously vote for Darrah over everyone else because of their Morgan roots, so she gets listed first.

Ryan: Darrah, Lill, Sandra, Jon
Rupert: Sandra, Lill, Darrah, Jon
Tijuana: Darrah, Lill, Sandra, Jon
Christa: Sandra, Lill, Darrah, Jon
Burton: Jon, Darrah, Sandra, Lill
Darrah: Lill, Sandra, Jon
Lill: Darrah, Sandra, Jon
Sandra: Lill, Darrah, Jon
Jon: Darrah, Lill, Sandra

You can do the math to see how I think the final four match up, but I will say Darrah has the best chance versus the jury. The most fun final pair would be Sandra/Jon, since there's genuine animosity between them, but it'd only be fun if Sandra wins.

To close last week I said, "My only hope is that Sandra gets bit by a really smart snake and pulls off the miracle."

I love you, smart snake. Somebody hand me a tissue.

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