I'm still cracking up over this week's episode. One for the Survivor record books for sure!

It's Day 19 and Alex is moping post-Shawna. Rob doesn't care. "Maybe it'll get his head out of his ass and he'll start thinking about the game again like he should be." Get ready for a whole mess of Rob quotes.

Our hero tells Alex and Matthew the three of them should lie to the other guys if there's a merge and pretend they're loyal to the original tribe. Those sneaky boys.

The keys arrive for the mystery lock-boxes but it's only the merge letter. What was the point of that? The two tribes are now one and they have to start over at a new location. Before they leave Deena tells her troops the voting order is Dave, Roger, then Butch. Is it all talk or is the New Jabaru 5 a force to be reckoned with?

The new buffs are red and Christy is very happy to have made the merge. I have to admit I was wrong about her chances and she's done very well.

A feast awaits the new tribe. Wieners! Chicken! Beer!! Coors Light to be exact. Why didn't they just pump in that song from the commercial? Yippee-ki-yi-yi-yi! Yippee-ki-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

"Psst…Here's the new tribe name."

Deena suggests the new tribe name should be Jacaré, the Portuguese word for alligator. Like she knew that off the top of her head. I'll bet the producers slip them a couple suggestions.

Dinner isn't over for ten minutes and Roger starts his bossing. Nice military music. Alex says, "The problem with Roger is that he's an ass." Tell us what you really think. Deena and Roger are butting heads. Who is the manliest?

Dave is seen drinking and chopping. If he's not careful he's going to get a CUI.

Deena and Jenna approach Heidi to join their alliance. Heidi just asks that Roger is voted off first so he doesn't make the jury. She says he'd never vote for a woman to win, which is a great point. As they say, an air-headed clock is still right twice a day.

Roger is confident the six men are back together. "It just seems too easy." It's like he's reading from a script.

That night, to emphasize the split, everybody drinks and laughs except for snoring Roger. Rob describes the festivities: "I'm disappointed that none of the girls are really drinking that much. That's a problem. When you're a guy that looks like me, there goes the only chance I have with the girls: if they get really drunk."

The youngsters swap sex stories and Dave talks about a threesome he had. "I really dislike Dave," Rob says. He hopes the girls won't fall for his "All-American charm."

"Have I got a quote for you."

When it's Robby's turn for a tale he says, "I hardly have any boring sex stories. Most of my sex stories usually involve me, and a fat girl." Rob is just killing tonight. Bravo!

Heidi lessens my opinion of her even more by saying more girls are open to threesomes than people think, and Jenna agrees. Rob now wants to end up in the final three with the two of them.

The morning of Day 21 (they must not do anything during these middle days), and there are beer cans everywhere. Is this MTV's Fraternity Life? Roger is up chopping wood two feet from the shelter at the crack of dawn. Just in case they forgot how much they hate him.

Deena and Jenna watch the men fish and imply that after they get to the final five, they'll take out Matthew and then the two of them can defeat Rob. If Deena can end up in the final with Jenna she is set. "The game is mine," she confidently tells us.

The Immunity Challenge is the basic Stand On A Log In The Water Endurance game (in case you were wondering it's official name). As Jeff announces the new Immunity Necklace, my sister says, "Please don't let it be hideous." Naturally, out comes this thing with feathers poking out of it. Possibly the highlight of our night.

Roger almost falls in before Jeff says go. That's because there are 9 people mentally shoving him into the water.

Jeff says Roger might not want to quit since there will be rewards for giving up later.

Jenna: "I'd take off my clothes for chocolate and peanut butter."
Rob: "Get the girl some chocolate and peanut butter, Probst!"

"Look at us! We have no pride!"

Heidi says she's in too. And, BAM, Jeff delivers. Oreos and Jif. Off come the clothes!

Butch: "I'm not looking."
Alex: "I'm looking."

Five minutes later, Roger quits and doesn't even get a reward. How dumb is this guy? Then, as Jeff says, "Here comes the rain." He pulls out a pizza and Alex, Butch and Rob take the plunge. Buffalo wings are enough to get the final two guys into the water.

It's been two and a half hours and Deena and Christy are the only two left. Why? Roger went a long time ago and that's all they needed. It's stunts like this that doomed the Rotu 4 in the Marquesas. Spaghetti and meatballs appear and the ladies agree to quit and split it. A little Ro-Sham-Bo decides Immunity and Deena's rock beats Christy's scissors.

The mood is light back at camp. Rob says, "I said that the only way Roger is going to win Immunity is if it's a contest: Name That Perry Como Song, or perhaps, What Type Of Prune Is This?"

Alex is just stoked. "The game worked out better than expected. We had the best time out there. Naked chicks--hyeah! Pizza--hyeah! Roger was stupid enough to jump off and get himself nothin'--hyeah!… It was a beautiful day in the Amazon."

Roger is still confident however. "The women are gone. It's that simple…. I'm sitting here thinking, it's too good to be true." You know what they say…

Rob tells us he's sure he's going to be the last male in the game. Man, smack talk is running rampant this week. I love it!

"I hate broads, and foreigners, and stupid kids…"

To Tribal Council we go and the fun continues.

Rob: "If you didn't know what you were particularly good at, there was a couple people that were more than happy to tell you where you should be going and what you should be doing."
Jeff: "Are you saying there were bossy people quickly or are you saying you like being subservient to people who decide what to do?"
Rob: "I like being subservient to the people that decide what to do." Very funny guy.

Jeff asks Roger if he feels safe. "Obviously if I really felt that I needed that Immunity I would've given it my all," he replies.

They're still allowing that dumb option of giving Immunity to someone else? It will never ever be used.

Let's vote! Roger casts one for Christy. Interesting. Will Butch vote along with him? Deena votes for Roger. "Reality check, and mate. Never underestimate the power of a woman."

But the line of the night belongs to Mr. Rob: "'Here comes tonight's long distance dedication. It goes out to Rob, from New York. He writes, "Dear Casey, there's a mean old man in my life that's about to leave. Could you please play something appropriate for me?" Well, Rob, here's your request.' Nah nah nah nah…Nah nah nah nah…Hey hey hey…good bye!" Absolutely brilliant. He ever had the voice down. If Dang Fun had a Hall of Fame, Rob's performance tonight would be in it.

The vote-reading is pretty straight forward: Christy, Christy, Roger, Roger, Christy, Roger (tied at 3), then Roger, Roger, Roger. Hey hey hey…good bye.

Butch looks surprised and Dave is absolutely stunned. He had a Shii Ann face going there.

Roger signs off with, "I don't think I got out wit or out played; definitely got out lasted." Whatever you say, Perry Como.

"Look at me! I'm better than you!"

Next time on Survivor: Matt goes nuts. And he's got a machete. Yikes. Plus, "Heidi and Dave get in touch with each other." Double yikes.

Tremendous episode! Kudos to the producers for not even trying to make the final vote suspenseful. There was a lot of spite in the air and it was fun to watch it all pour out.

So who of the final nine will be on the jury and who will be trying to win votes? Right now it's Deena's game to lose. Jenna will do whatever Deena wants, and Heidi will do whatever Jenna wants (witness the flash fest). The only problem is, Deena seems to be trying hard not to win. Don't take things personal and shut up.

Taking my own advice,
Scott

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