This roller-coaster ride that is Survivor 6 brings us to Day 34. Jenna now says she's sick with some tonsil thing. Can man truly live on pity alone?

Jenna and Heidi apparently aren't mad at Rob any more, since he voted out Christy instead of them. They never make sense. Rob says he's just going to be honest with them from now on because he doesn't want to flip-flop any more. He tells them Heidi is next to go. Again not sure why this has to be said. It only causes Heidi to respond with, "All I know is I'm going down fighting."

Heidi isn't big in New Mexico.

Speaking of Heidi, Stephen in Albuquerque writes in and says, "Got a kick out of Heidi's repeatedly getting all high and mighty on Rob about her impeccable morals and ethics. She claims she had never and would never screw over someone or maliciously deceive in order to get ahead in the game. Then a few minutes later, she's eagerly getting back into an alliance with Rob . . . and screwing Christy in the process after having worked a deal with her." Well put. Amazing, ain't it? And as we now know, it only gets better.

Back to the show, and we see an itchy monkey.

Matt's mental illness has passed on to Butch who now obsessively collects wood. Rob just laughs and plays along. "I don't know how I necessarily became the Junior Deputy Sheriff Firewood Bitch." Would that fit on a badge?

Butch says, "I'm just a wood-crazy nut I guess." You guess correctly. He proceeds to break into the ugliest dance since Rich won the fire-making Challenge in S1.

They head to the Reward Challenge and we get a close-up of the fire. Right before the camera man pours gasoline on it?

The Challenge is a combination of previous games. There's a cage, puzzle, rope to swing on, coded message, and the "flying fox." Winner gets this season's automotive sponsor, the Saturn Ion. It beats the pants off the Vue and Aztek, that's for sure. The best news is they also get a barbequed meal of burgers, hot dogs and chicken.

Crazy Butch gets out of the cage first. Everyone gets out before Heidi. Rob is done with the puzzle first. Heidi is still in the cage. Matt decodes the message first. Heidi is just now getting out of the cage. Work that intelligence and athletic ability.

Matt has a big lead and squeals down the zip line like a little girl. He jumps in his car and calls to the others, "Get in here! We got the AC on!" That's one joyous dude.

Matt asks Jeff to let everyone eat but that's not how it works. Matt picks Rob saying he had a deal with him before the game.

The chicks don't stand a chance.

Rob says he's happy for Matt and, "If he ever returns to the planet that he came from, he said I can borrow it and go out cruising for chicks." Since they dig Saturns so.

They bust out the grub and the burgers are fat. "They're like Flintstone hamburgers!" Rob exclaims. He then says Butch would be jealous that they have fire.

Cut to the camp fire. Cut to the thatched fire shelter bursting into flames. Really huge flames. Cut back to the little grill fire. Hilarious.

Flames are tearing through camp. The crew had to have put that out. I don't think Mark Burnett wants to pay for half a rain forest.

Butch, Jenna and Heidi return to the burned but extinguished camp. Jenna mourns the loss of her sorority crown. We should too.

Butch knows eyes will start looking his way. "The first thing that came to my mind was it's got to be my fault." You think, Captain Tonsofwood?

Matt is still enjoying his picnic. "I'm so stoked that I crafted very strong relationships with both Rob and Butch, and as far as they know, I'm going to the final two with each of them." Wow, maybe ol' Matt's not as dumb as he looks.

Butch has another fire going already, this time under the actual shelter. Are you going after Heidi's stuff too? Matt and Rob return and join the sadness. No! The Magic 8 Ball is melted!

Jenna makes sure they know about her tragedy. "I had stuff that has been passed down for, like, five years." Do you get dizzy watching the world revolve around you?

What wood Smokey say?

Rob says, "I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I do know this: With about 137 days worth of dry wood, our camp burned to the ground. Was there a connection? I don't know. I'm not one to point fingers *coughButch*"

The men work to rebuild while the girls do nothing. Heidi wants Butch off next but says the men have a "hard core alliance."

Jenna says, "We're not doing any work for them. Why? You're going to vote us off. We're not doing crap for you." My friend summed it up best: So you don't do any work when you have the majority because they can't vote you out, then you don't do any work when you're in the minority because they ARE going to vote you out. Lazy if you do and lazy if you don't, right?

Even the Immunity Necklace got burned a bit. The Challenge is a five-part rope obstacle course. There's a disk walk, suspended tunnel, swing, hanging steps, and V-tunnel. Basically it's really physical so Matt should easily win.

Sure enough, he finishes four legs before nobody but Heidi has more than two. Matt wins easily and won't be beaten again if the challenges stay physical.

Back at camp, Jenna goes Shawna. "I can't do this anymore!" she cries. "I feel like crap!" Heidi then shows her true colors. "Knowing that we have to get ready to vote somebody off makes me want to campaign for her to go off, to the boys." With friends like these, right?

Tribal Council, and the jury men have no more beards. Jeff tries to get Matt to blame Butch for the fire but he doesn't. He then tries to get Butch to admit fault but the principal sticks to his guns. "There are so many variables that could happen. I feel comfortable that it wasn't my fault." It's always someone else's fault. Good lesson for the kids, right Butch?

"5 irreplaceable years…"

It's raining hard and Jeff is soaked. He asks how Jenna would choose someone for the final two. She says loyalty because, "I wouldn't want to go up against somebody I knew I could beat because it's not competition." So is it loyalty or competition?

Jeff: "Heidi, do you think you deserve to be in the final two?"
Heidi: "I definitely deserve to be in the final two. The other four people know how I've played this game. I've played so hard. I'm like the mastermind behind half of the plans that go on day to day. And, I mean, I've got three guys here that are scared to death of me right now that I could beat them." Confused look from Matt. Dave's hands go into the air and he hides his face in them. Scott throws something at his TV. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Did Heidi just call herself the mastermind? Is it possible for a human being to love herself that much? I don't understand. I just don't understand.

Jeff asks what Matt is basing his vote on tonight and he says allegiance to his alliance. Jeff then asks if he may have to turn on it at some point and Matt calmly replies, "If and when we get down to the final three it'll be every man for himself." A very astute declaration.

They vote and we see none of them but hear Rob say, "Two girls, one brain, divide by two. Only one half-wit left." Very very nice. So which one? Heidi would be the smart pick since Jenna has all but given up. And that speech of hers deserves a whole mess of votes.

The tally goes Rob, Heidi, Rob, Heidi. And the final vote is for…Heidi. Oh yeah! Alex looks at Christy who gives a triumphant smile. Jenna is crying again. Jeff says the next three days will bring "three Tribal Councils, two Immunity Challenges, one Survivor."

Heidi says, "I have got a lot of heart, a lot of soul, a lot of pride, and I stop at nothing." Nothing short of the most conceited person I've ever come across.

We wrap things up on Sunday: "Four Survivors are left in the season finale. Rob the deceiver, Jenna the alluring one [gag hurl], Butch has flown under the radar, and Matt seems unstoppable." They say Entertainment Weekly calls this "the best Survivor ever." It has been a great one. By far the least predictable. What surprises await us in the final episode?

It's interesting to note this was the first vote to go along gender lines. So much for that battle of the sexes, huh?

Knot the mastermind.

I also can't help but notice how Matt, Rob, and Jenna are still around from the Jaburu group of five that was supposed to stay strong after the merge. Deena just has to be kicking herself for turning on Alex so soon. Stay with your alliance until everyone else is gone and then make your next move. Just like Matthew is doing.

So who wins this thing? Time for my standard Episode 12 breakdown. I was right about Ethan and Brian, but didn't think Vecepia could beat anyone. Oops. Let's use the same format as last season to look at each possible pairing:

Butch
Beats: Jenna, Rob
Loses to: Matt

Rob
Beats: Jenna
Loses to: Butch, Matt

Matthew
Beats: Everyone
Loses to: No one

Jenna
Beats: Hitler, maybe Saddam Hussein
Loses to: Everyone else

Matt is clearly the guy to beat but Rob knows it and he's shown time and again he's willing to do anything to win. If the three males stick together for one more vote, Matt should win easily. He's got the best chance to win the final Immunity and Butch will take him to the final over Rob. Rob would probably turn on Matt and take Butch, banking on Butch's pyrotechnic show to cost him votes. Won't work though.

I would not be surprised one bit however if Rob orchestrates Jenna staying into the final three. I'll be pretty upset about it, but it fits his M.O. thus far. Rob knows Jenna is the only one he can beat. He's said so to everyone, including her. I just don't see him giving up on the goal of winning the million, and dragging Jenna along is his only chance.

Great, great season, and I expect the same from the finale. I'm rooting for a Matt/Rob face off so we can see Rob squirm before the jury, with Matthew riding into the sunset with an Ion full of cash.

Talk to you again on Monday!
Scott

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