My Dear Zoo Keepers,

A lot of animals this week! Let's see if you can spot the following: chicken, shark, monkey, fish, donkey.

"Mmm...Neck...."

Day 13 is upon us and Sook Jai is awakened by a crowing rooster. The chickens don't even take Robb seriously. They decide to eat it that very morning. Shii Ann really goes to town by eating the liver, heart and neck. Robb is grossed out and I must admit, so am I. But I'm such a wuss, I don't even eat the skin.

Ted and Brian try to fish in the boat and Ted takes the opportunity to swear on his daughter's life that he's committed to Brian to the end. Brian just paddles on with a smirk on his face. "I know I'm very low key," he says, "very subtle, but very shark-like, very swift. Move when I need to move, speak when I need to speak, try to be a part of that majority however which way I can." Despite his apparent allergy to subjects in his sentences, Brian is taking the right approach. Never turn down an ally, but don't commit yourself too early, and certainly don't make extreme promises like Ted.

Robb acted like a sea beast bit off his legs.

While swimming after breakfast Robb gets bit or stung by something. From his reaction you'd think they were going to have to amputate, but it's a just little wound on his foot. "He's like a little baby," Shii Ann says. "He's like throwing a little tantrum--'Ow, it hurts!'" It's safe to say she and Robb won't be exchanging Christmas cards.

And speaking of the holidays, Chuay Ghan decides to sing carols that night. Helen starts making a sound so hideous it scares the boat away.

But seriously, it was quite comical watching Ted "secure" the boat by putting the string around a stick. So "Betsy" is gone and Clay is pretty upset about it. He says the tribe wasn't as hard on Ted as they should've been. Ted blames "Magilla" for stealing the boat.

Things are not going well for hungry Chuay Ghan as Clay explains: "If you give me a chance right now to have a hamburger, French fries, apple dumpling over sex, I'd take the hamburger and French fries with no questions and never look back." You think Brian ever got paid to eat an apple dumpling?

Betsy plans her escape.

The Reward Challenge is the standard bid-for-food game. Jan goes absolutely insane when she sees the thousand dollars in cash. She's not used to having a lot of money, I reckon.

Before the auction we have the promised offer to switch tribes from the preview. We hear Shii Ann say she almost switched, with is a surprise. Stephanie doesn't switch, which is also a surprise. No one switches actually, which is boring. It would've been different if they could've voted in private. I just think no one wanted to look like a traitor. I mean, what if you want to switch, but you don't get to because there's an odd number of people? You'd be screwed. It wasn't worth the risk.

At the auction Sook Jai bought Clay's burger and fries (they didn't even have to offer sex) and two mystery items. The first was a bowl of baked grubs, but Stephanie and Erin actually eat some. The second surprise is a hot fudge sundae that is a huge hit. Chuay Ghan wins some limeade, spaghetti and a nachos/margarita combo. Thankfully no one gets sick on camera.

The next day, Penny says Stephanie is being more social. Brian says Jan is gone if they lose Immunity.

"Ew! These were in Ted's mouth!"

The Challenge is a new one: sorting fish. Each tribe gets a HUGE pile of four different kinds of fish (including squid). The first team to sort every fish wins. The race begins and Ted and Stephanie lead the way by stuffing fish in their mouths.

Chuay Ghan wins easily! We don't see SJ screwing up at all, so Ted's big mouth must be the key. He gives a Brian a fishy kiss on the cheek. Brian may want to sleep as far away from Ted as possible tonight.

Back at the Sook Joint, Stephanie thinks she's going to get voted off and says she should have switched. I agree. She obviously doesn't like her tribemates. Why not give it a shot with the other group?

Robb and Erin talk privately and complain about Shii Ann. It's an exchange for the ages (ages 5 to 7 that is):

Erin: "She doesn't use her head. She doesn't think."
Robb: "The most upsetting thing about it is, like, the reward where we had utensils, she was suing her fingers."
Erin: "Just disgusting. Like, all of us have enough manners not to do that."
Robb: "Appalling, dude. She's a girl, too! Give me a break, dude! Who the hell would take her home?"

Jake on the other hand stands by Shii Ann because of her hard work. Shii gives us a peek at the race card in her pocket: "Which one of these things is not like the other, OK? I'm the only minority on this island. I'd forgotten how culturally different I am from the mass of America, so I'm sticking out like a sore thumb."

At Tribal Counsel, King Jeff talks trash:

Jeff: "Robb, straight scoop: What's your impression of Chuay Ghan?"
Robb: "They seem like a happy bunch of people, like they're all getting along pretty well and, uh, good for them, man."
Jeff: "You guys think you're stronger than Chuay Ghan?"
Robb: "For sure. Without a doubt. Come on, bro."
Jeff: "'Come on, bro'? Who's sitting at Tribal Counsel?"
Robb: "Hey, this is one--I think we're still up on 'em."
Jeff: "I'm just saying, you're not kicking their ass."
Robb: "We'll see what the future holds for Chuay Ghan."
Jeff: "All I know is tonight sombody's going home because you guys lost today. So, that's a fact."
Robb: "That is a fact, Jack."

This proves two things: The CBS folks really hate it when one tribe dominates the other, and Jeff's not putting up with any Sook Jive!

He then asks Stephanie if she was able to contribute while she was sick. She replies, "I was sick but I overcame it and I think that, you know, yeah I'm still contributing just as much as everyone else, and I'm really proud of 'em cuz they were kind of struggling at first, I thought, as far as their survivor mode, um, because in the beginning they were a little more focused on a shelter, you know, and I didn't think that that was a priority in the situation that we were in where food and water was what we need to survive, and they've come a long way. They're doing a lot better." Wow, did you follow that? He asks if she has been pulling her weight, and she turns it around to say that everyone else wasn't pulling their weight, but now they're starting to catch up to her. Just in case you forgot how isolated she was from the rest of the tribe.

They vote. Stephanie and Robb vote for Shii Ann and Robb throws in, "You get on my nerves and I don't like being around you. Nothing personal." Hey Robb, your piercings don't fit your fat head, you've got the mental capacity of a walnut, and the way you handled your owie on the beach was about as manly as a pom-pom squad. Nothing personal though, bro.

"Why won't they work as hard as me?"

Penny and Ken vote for Stephanie, which pretty much eliminates any mystery. You know Jake and Shii Ann are going to vote with them so it doesn't matter what Erin does. The firefighter's flame is extinguished.

Next on Survivor: The men try and find the boat and Ken and Robb do battle:

Ken: "You got some set of balls to approach me with this."
Robb: "Don't try to #%@& tell me that I'm doing something I'm not, all right, cuz I'm not #%@& stupid!" #%@& yeah!

DANG FUN NEWSFLASH!

We've got a little bit of info on Robb's girlfriend at home. We were watching the MTV show "FM Nation" which follows high school/college-age kids around on a Saturday night. Last week's show as in Scottsdale, Arizona, and at the end we learn the one girl is dating "Rob from Survivor Thailand." She's your stereotypical dumb blonde and here's a rundown of her night out with her three dumb blonde friends:

-Go to a club.
-Intentionally spill a drink on a guy to get him to buy you drinks.
-Convince two males to kiss.
-Help a friend puke in a parking lot.
-Strip naked to get free fast food.

Sounds like a perfect girl for our little Robbertt. Now that's the kind of inside scoop you can only get from someone who watches way too much TV.

Drive through (but keep your pants on),
Scott

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