My Dang Fun Family,

Well it's about time I'm right about something. The family members do appear and excessive emotion ensues. Break out the Kleenex!

We start on Night 30 with a fuming Clay confronting Jake about his Council comments, saying, "Somebody's going to get their ass kicked off." Helen says Clay has no reason to be upset. "I don't think Clay liked that claim at Tribal Council because it was true. Jake does more than Clay. Why do you think Clay got upset?" Ted joins in and tells Clay, "That was messed up what you did." Has Clay completely alienated his entire team?

I hope I look that good when I'm 60.

The next day Jake is writing in the journal he has kept the entire time. It's basically a month-long love letter to his wife. Jake is a very sweet guy.

It's time for the Reward Challenge and--I told you so--it's Helen's husband walking in that causes her to freak out. He is followed by Ted's brother, Jake's wife, Brian's wife (in her bikini top of course), Clay's wife, and Jan's son. The stakes are the same as last season: the winner gets 24 hours with their loved one.

But there's a twist. The losers get NO contact. No hugs, no touches, nothing. Ouch.

Ah, there's the bug-eating challenge. I was wondering where it went. But here's another big twist--the family member has to do the eating! Ha ha ha! What a great idea. You know this is more than they bargained for.

Whoa, did you see the look of death Helen gave her husband? He's going to be eating bugs out of fear for his life.

Back from commercial and we get a close up of Brian's wife's chest. The Survivor camera crew never misses an opportunity. The first course is a spoonful of ants. One by one the family members get them down.

What is the deal with Ted's bro's braided goatee? Did all of Ted's hair end up on his brother's chin?

Meet the family members! And C.C's boobs!

Mrs. Brian does a little wiggle as she gulps her ants causing Clay to yell out, "Uh oh, she got it goin' now!" Great, a new object for Clay. And only two feet away from his wife.

I about lost it when that water roach started squirting out the juice. Helen's husband almost pukes it up but keeps it down. C.C. doesn't even try. "I'm out," she says. That's gotta make Brian feel good.

The next round is a race to eat live grubs. Helen and Jake's spouses advance to the finals and you can just see the fear in Mr. Helen's eyes.

Oh my! A live tarantula?! Oh wait, they "just" have to eat a dead boiled one, and they only have 60 seconds to do it. Jake's woman is tough like him and gets it down. Helen's man gags but pulls it off.

The tiebreaker is a huge boiled scorpion and the first to finish gets to join the tribe for a day. Jake's wife drops hers on the ground and wipes it off on her pants before starting to eat it. Heh--you wouldn't want any disgusting dirt on your scorpion.

Not even the family members are spared from Jeff's wrath. As they both struggle he commands, "Do it now or you guys are going to lose!" Fear the Jeff.

"Eat or die, Jim!"

Helen's husband wins! Jake's wife sadly upchucks her scorp in a bucket. Too bad. I was rooting for the tough little lady to win for her man.

Helen and her husband Jim get to sleep alone together, which is a nice gesture from the rest of the tribe. Jan says she tried to listen in on them which is a disgusting gesture. Although, Clay would've set up shot next door if Brian had won.

Day 32, and Helen goes to get water with a shirtless Jim. You need a few more days on the island to pull that one off, buddy. Jim says that Helen is "going to do what it takes to win the game. She didn't come here to come in third." But then on the way back, Helen says, "I trust Brian. Brian is an up front guy." Oops.

Jim gives some great advice: "Maybe you don't need Brian. Get rid of the person that's the biggest threat."
Helen: "I just wouldn't feel right doing that."
Jim (to the camera): "I thought she would do anything for the million dollars and she said, 'Ah, I also want to do what's right,' and I was a little surprised by that." I have a feeling Helen is going to wish she had listened to her husband.

Jim has to go and Helen says an emotional good-bye. Nice to see her open up. That stuff about being "on orders not to cry" was dumb.

On Day 33 Jake knows he needs Immunity and he's inspired by his wife's efforts in the bug gulping. The challenge is another puzzle (Burnett's no fool. He doesn't want to see Ted, Clay and Jan in a race either). There are eight different shapes that have to be stacked in order to make a cube that is the same color on every side.

But wait…Jeff says the family members haven't left and the Survivors get to see them! Burnett does have a heart.

Everyone weeps and gives the "I love you"s and "I'm so proud of you"s with one noticeable exception. C.C. says, "Win it all, baby," and Brian responds with, "I'm going to try to. I've got a plan going, too, big time." All you need is love, right?

"Please don't hurt me, Ted!"

Another twist! Each person's loved one is their partner for the Challenge. The race is edited so we have no idea who is winning and then suddenly…the Brothers Ted are victorious! They roll around on the sand together and the Bearded One narrowly escapes getting crushed.

Back at camp, Helen and Brian talk strategy. She wants to vote for Clay and tells us, "I trust Brian. I don't think Brian would ever look at me and try to dupe me on something, play me like a fool." Wow. He has her fleeced bad.

At Tribal Council Clay says he had decided whom he was voting for before he got there. This obviously means he's voting for Jake. Brian says, "I think the person who is probably not going to be here tonight brought this upon himself with certain actions and certain events that could've been prevented." That sounds like he's voting for Clay!

They vote and Clay says, "Let bygones be bygones" as he votes for Jake. We don't see Brian's vote but he says, "Positivity goes a long, long way my friend."

(By the way, did you know that "positivity" isn't a word? My spell-check didn't like it and I was surprised not to find it in the dictionary either. There's negativity, but the noun form of positive is "positiveness." Who knew?)

The votes are read and we were fooled again. Four straight votes for Jake and he's gone. What? Jake was negative? If Brian wants to vote along tribal lines, fine, just admit it. This stuff about "based on effort" and "making up words like positivity" is weak. Jake was only playing the game and if anyone should see that it's Brian. Maybe he's just a little too full of himself.

So a Chuay Ghan member will be the winner! I don't think anyone thought that after three episodes. Ghandia remains the team MVP for leaving.

Did Brian make the right move? One argument is he should've let them vote off Clay. Brian has three people thinking they're going to the finals with him so he's going to have to flat-out betray two of them. Why not let the rest of the tribe do it for you so you can go to Clay and say, "Hey, I tried." Brian could then throw a meaningless vote at Jake and keep Clay's final jury vote.

Why does Helen trust Brian? Why is Jim topless?

The person I'm most disappointed in is Helen. I thought she was going to pull off the overthrow of Brian. But now we find out she's been duped by the puppetmaster as well. Can she wise up before it's too late?

Next time on Survivor: It looks like Helen and Ted are joining forces against Clay. If they get Jan too, they don't even need Brian. A mirror is brought into camp so they can see their ugly mugs for the first time in a month. Plus they're joy-riding around in the latest lame mini-SUV to pay for sponsorship. Joy.

It keeps getting better and better. Everyone will be in full backstab mode next week. Sharpen them knives!

Your baby boy,
Scott

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