Poverty – sorry, old habits die hard – agrees her biggest move was bringing in Alexis and Natalie so she had them on one side and Amanda and Cirie on the other.

Amanda says she has trust issues now after back-to-back seasons, but she’s smiling. She says the jury votes are “out of your hands.” That’s not exactly true though. David accurately writes in and says:

I'm shocked at how little Amanda attempted to convince the jury she was worthy. How many challenges did she win? Strategic maneuvers? The awesome effort in finding the HII. and then faking out everyone out about it?? C'mon - she wins the final two immunities TWO SEASONS IN A ROW - controls her own destiny - AND WAS NEVER VOTED OUT IN TWO FULL SEASONS -- 78 DAYS! She should have been saying, "I EARNED THIS MILLION DOLLARS. IT IS MINE. I AM A SURVIVOR GODDESS. YOU MUST VOTE FOR ME."

That about sums it up. The beauty of Survivor is it combines the social interaction that comes with living alongside other people, and unadulterated greed. In order to win, you must make everyone else lose. If you can’t turn on an ally – or your boyfriend – you have very little chance of winning this game. But don’t worry, Amanda, you only have to play Survivor eight more times to get your million dollars.

(Wow, I just went all Natalie right there.)

Cirie agrees her only mistake was losing that last Challenge. I think she would’ve beaten either of the other two girls, but a Cirie/Parvati final would’ve been very interesting. Plenty of deviosity there.

Natalie says she has some “haters” now. Jeff asks if being a “fill in the blank” is who she really is. She dodges the question but he keeps pushing until she admits it’s “one of the layers” of her personality.

Ozzy says he now understands how someone could “kill in the heat of passion” but he has forgiven Parvati.

Jason still has the unplayed Hidden Immunity Idol in his pocket. Let it go, my man.

Erik looks exactly the same. That’s awesome. He says his community has been supportive. He explains that he viewed everyone in the game as friends and wasn’t able to use people as pieces. And now that he’s seen what it takes to go farther he doesn’t think he’s that kind of guy. That’s sweet and all, but you don’t have to be cut-throat to not the take the necklace off.

James busts out one of his patented analogies. He says the girls were in the boat while Erik was off to the side with a life vest on but he took off his vest and handed it to someone on the boat.

Jeff asks James if people are still coming up to him at the cemetery and he says one woman told him her mom loved his abs…so he took off his shirt and let her take pictures! That’s what we need to solve the world’s problems: topless pictures of James.

Ozzy gets asked about his relationship with Amanda and he drops not one, but two Survivor inside jokes. First he says, “Jeff, you know how these Survivor girls are,” which is a reference to Jeff’s girlfriend, Julie from Survivor: Vanuatu (the internet tells me they were still together as of last fall so that’s pretty impressive).

Ozzy then says he lost his job waiting tables because he’s too popular so he has to clean the toilets now. Reader liz votes for this as the best moment of the Reunion and says, “If it worked for the lunch lady who lied it's worth a try!”

Amanda finally answers Jeff’s question and says she and Ozzy are still together. I wish them well.

Mary says she started dating Ryan from Survivor: Pearl Islands and now they’re engaged. The tribe has spoken…the language of love.

Next they give away $100,000 for the “Player of the Season” as voted by the viewers. The top three vote-getters are Amanda, Ozzy, and James, and the winner is…James for the second straight time. That means if you add that to his regular Survivor earnings he’s won more than Amanda. Tee-hee.

Jonny Fairplay is engaged to a former contestant on America’s Next Top Model. Why do all these reality TV people know each other? Is there some sort of union? Anyway, Jon has a baby girl named Piper Addison Fairplay. Yes, his daughter’s legal name is Fairplay and, yes, he named her after pro wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Joel cut off his hair. He shakes hands with Chet and says no one’s giving him grief for getting voted out before Chet. I’ll give him grief. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Mikey B. says his mom, who was a big fan of the show, passed away last month. RIP, Mrs. B.

Next time on…Survivor: Back to Africa! Season 17 will be in Gabon (pronounced “guh-BONE”), where there are surfing hippos, as well as gorillas, elephants and cheetahs. Oh my.

The Survivor tagline is “Earth’s Last Eden” and you know we’ll be back to bite that forbidden fruit.

Thanks as always for reading!

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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