Day 34, and Erik and Natalie talk about how they can’t beat Amanda. They agree to send each other to Exile Island if they have the chance, in order to look for the Hidden Immunity Idol.

Amanda says she trusts Cirie and Poverty. They don’t want Erik and Natalie to go to Exile.

Amanda offers to take Erik on the Reward if she wins if he promises to take her if he wins. He tells her Natalie wants to send him to Exile, but he doesn’t want to go. Amanda agrees he shouldn’t go because it’ll make him weak, and he should send Poverty since she’s already weak and won’t look for the Idol.

The Reward Challenge is Survivor trivia and the winner gets a helicopter ride to a spa. Here’s your quiz:

On which season did a castaway have a pet snake? Pearl Islands (Rupert)

Which season featured a shark biting a Survivor and the Survivor biting back? All-Stars (Richard)

On which season did a Survivor ask someone to pee on them after a sea urchin sting? Marqueses (John & Kathy). Erik is the only one who got that one right, and he leads with two correct. He needs two more to win.

When was someone evacuated after falling in a fire? Australia (Michael). Erik gets it right and Jeff points out that Erik was 14 during that season.

Which was the first season with four tribes? Exile Island. Cirie gets her own season right, but Erik does too and he wins.

Erik sends Poverty to Exile Island. He picks Amanda to go with him and says he made a deal with her. She tells him he redeemed himself.

Back at camp Natalie is mad that she wasn’t picked for Exile or the Reward. The helicopter flies by. Ha ha.

Erik tells us he wanted to get to know Amanda “as a friend again.” I think he just wants to see her in the shower again.

Erik tells Amanda he’s not used to making big decisions because he’s just an ice cream scooper. But he thinks this process will help become “an ice cream man instead of an ice cream boy.”

Poverty looks for the HII…if it’s straight up in the air…and on the back of her eyelids. As she just lays there we hear her say she’s confident she doesn’t need the Idol because of her alliance with Amanda and Cirie.

When the winners return Natalie gives Erik the silent treatment. Later Erik talks to Cirie and Natalie eavesdrops. He says Amanda and Natalie have the best chance of winning, so they should get rid of one of those two next.

Natalie tells Cirie and Amanda what she overheard. Erik sees them all talking and realizes they’re sharing the stories he’s telling everyone. “I make so many mistakes,” he laments. He says he needs to win Immunity or he’s gone.

The Immunity Challenge is using ropes and coordinates to dig up puzzle pieces. There’s no need to waste time here: Erik dominates. It’s not even close to close. Bye-bye, lady.

The girls talk. After pondering their predicament Cirie says, “I wonder if he would give Nat his necklace.” Amanda tells Natalie to tell him this is his chance to redeem himself before the jury. Natalie doesn’t want to do it. “Who would fall for that?” she asks. “I feel stupid listening to you guys.” But Poverty says Ozzy and Jason were tricked, and Erik needs to join them.

Natalie gives it a shot. She tells Erik she and Cirie will vote out Amanda with him, but he has to give her the Idol. “I’m not even going to consider that,” Erik says. He goes and talks to Cirie about voting out Amanda anyway but she says she can’t trust him to vote for Amanda unless he proves it by saving Natalie. Huh?

Erik tells Natalie he’s afraid Poverty found the Idol and gave it to Amanda. Now he wants to vote out Pov. Natalie tells him they’ll do what he wants but he has to “go out on a limb.”

At Tribal Council Ozzy walks in wearing a poncho. Erik says he took Amanda on the Reward to bury the hatchet after the last Tribal Council. Poverty says when she got back from Exile she heard that Erik told everyone the same story. Erik says, “It was stupid. It was just a mistake.” Amanda says his apology means nothing. Poverty says he’s lost a lot of respect. Erik says he doesn’t see any “friendly faces” on the jury and, “I need some kind of redemption.” Cirie says you are able to redeem yourself, but it’s your actions that will show it.

Jeff asks if Erik will give up the Idol. He says, “I know that actions do speak louder than words. I want to give individual immunity to Natalie.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

There has never been a greater example of Survivicide.

The jury busts up. James about falls over laughing. As Erik leaves to vote the three others in the game laugh at him. It’s so obvious what’s going to happen they don’t even save the suspense of each Erik vote.

Natalie says, “I don’t even know what to say…but thank you.”

Amanda says, “You know….”

Cirie says, “My mother always said, you might not be able to beat them with these [arms] but you can always beat them with this [head]. Sorry.”

Poverty says, “You’re crazy! You’ll officially go down as the dumbest Survivor ever. In the history of Survivor. Ever.”

After the tally we hear James say, “I’ve lost my reign as Dumbest Survivor Ever!”

As Erik sprints away Jeff says, “I think that is what you call a life lesson.”

In his final words Erik says he couldn’t survive the “crazy sexy women.” He’s somehow smiling. I guess he’s naïve about his naïveté.

Wow. Just…wow. The immediate question is: Has anything like this ever happened before? I’ll admit I couldn’t remember but, as always, the Internet came through for me.

This is not the first time someone gave up Individual Immunity. In the Amazon Jenna gave up Immunity to her peanut butter buddy Heidi. But that was a case of someone helping a long-time ally in the game. Erik gave up security to people he knew didn’t like him in an effort to get them to like him. So bizarre.

How do you believe such blatant lies? They said he couldn’t get enough votes from the jury. How do they know that? So much changes every day in this game. They said he had to redeem himself for betraying people. And the three of them hadn’t betrayed anyone? Poor Erik just couldn’t see beyond his own face.

How do you fall for something like this? I’ll tell you how: Nice guys are powerless against seductive girls. You think Erik gives up Immunity to James or Jason? Not a chance. But he really, really, really wanted the girls to like him.

This reminded me of another time when a women completely got into the head of a young Survivor guy. Remember Ian?

Hang in there, Erik. Sometimes life is a rocky road.

Even for an ice cream man.

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