More great news! CBS has finally caught up with the rest of the world and the entire first episode is available on their website just in case you missed anything.

The castaways begin by walking the streets of Shanghai with luggage. Did I turn on The Apprentice: Asia by mistake? No, they’re just going to a Buddhist temple for a “welcome ceremony.” We learn that Peih-Gee is of Chinese descent. Cheater.

Leslie walks out of the ceremony because she doesn’t want to go against her Christian beliefs. You gotta admit, some of those statue things were creepy.

Jeff says a big part of Buddhism is leaving your earthly possessions behind so those pretty suitcases are staying put and they’ll be playing the game with the clothes on their backs. A lot of un-casually dressed people look concerned and Jaime points out that she has no bra. It never ceases to amaze me how unprepared some contestants are. This ain’t no cocktail party, people!

The yellow tribe is Zhan Hu, which means Fighting Tiger, and the red tribe is Fei Long, which means Flying Dragon. I can’t wait until they are crouching and hidden.

As the Fei Longs get to know each other Courtney gets annoyed because everyone is so happy. Courtney can’t weigh more than 65 points and 50 of it must be her arms. Those things are longer than the Great Wall. Are you happy now?

Jean-Robert tells Todd he senses Todd is devious. What an odd thing to say.

At Zhan Hu the Chicken is bossy and condescending. Peih-Gee is annoyed at her tribe’s “wackiness” and lack of seriousness. By the way, is “Peih-Gee” pronounced “PG” or does she go by her hyphenated initials? Or maybe it’s both? So sneaky.

Over at Fei Long they are felling trees like nobody’s business. Gravedigger James is pushing them over like corpses. Both tribes get rained on a bunch.

Day 2 and wrestler Ashley is sick already. Will she tap out?

It’s suddenly Day 3 and Aaron is anointed the leader of Fei Long by Todd the devious flight attendant. The Immunity Challenge is carrying those animal-head worm things through an obstacle course. Jeff graciously gives them their running shoes.

Fei Long has a lead but loses it when James can’t figure out the clip on his belt (since they won’t let him snap it like a twig) but they get the lead back during the water crossing and win.

Back at Zhan Hu camp, PG is crying because the team isn’t working enough. She starts telling people what to do. Chicken refuses to give any input. He wants Ashley out for not pulling her weight.

At Tribal Council Chicken says they need a leader. Jeff asks for a volunteer and ex-model Dave (who doesn’t look very modelish) and PG raise their hands. Strange timing for that. Will they vote out one of their new leaders?

Ashley votes for PG, PG votes for Chicken, and Chicken votes for Ashley. It’s the circle of life.

The tally goes Chicken, Ashley, Ashley, PG, Chicken, Chicken and Chicken. Bawk-bawk! Chicken is plucked by the enhanced breasts.

Jeff continues his gracious ways and gives them fire. We gotta keep Jeff out of Buddhist temples.

Next time on…Survivor: Jean-Robert isn’t working, Ashley body slams someone and fights with Dave. It looks like a piledriving good time.

And we’re off. It’ll take a while to be able to differentiate between your Jaimes and your Amandas, and between your Frostis and your Todds, but I think it’s a good start. I’m a bit worried about all the rain however. We want our Survivors feisty and dry.

Buh-bawk!

Back to the Survivor 15 Index
Dang Home