Day 37, and the construction staff outdoes itself again with huge maze/key/drawbridge Challenge that - oh by the way - you have to navigate blindfolded. Cassandra hilariously can’t find the start, Earl isn’t much better, and Yau-Man does his thing for the victory.

At Tribal Council Boo publicly makes his plea to stay, saying Yau-Man would be hard to beat and Dreamz would get the sympathy vote. Dreamz takes offense saying he’s not looking for anyone’s sympathy.

Boo and Dreamz vote for each other, Earl plays his Hidden Immunity Idol, and the tally goes Boo, Dreamz, Boo, Boo, bye.

The next day Earl marvels at his bond with Yau-Man and says it’s like the movie Rush Hour. Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth??

Dreamz tells the camera that he’s going to try and win Immunity in order to keep his promise to give it to Yau.

Fallen Comrades is Fallen Comrades. Sylvia calls herself a “bossy son of a b----.” Don’t say that. You’re a bossy daughter of a b----.

The final Immunity Challenge looks like something out of the Pit of Despair. The Survivors will hang from a small bar on a giant slide with the angle increasing every five minutes, and water running down their backs.

Jeff surprises no one who can count and confirms that the final three will be going before the jury.

The Challenge begins and Cassandra and Earl drop out leaving Yau-Man and Dreamz, which is how it had to be, right? Logic says if Dreamz is going to give Yau-Man the Immunity he should quit now. Logic also says if Yau-Man trusts Dreamz to give him Immunity he should quit. Nobody quits.

Yau-Man finally slips off and Dreamz wins his first individual Immunity, which happens to be the one he promised to give away. You gotta love it.

Back at camp all eyes turn to Dreamz. Yau asks Dreamz not to vote for Yau if he changes his mind and keeps Immunity. Do you really want to be putting the thought in his mind?

Earl, Cassandra and Dreamz talk. Earl tells Dreamz he thinks he will “do the right thing.” Dreamz says he will because he will think of his son during Tribal Council. But then, a second later, Dreamz says, “If I do the wrong thing, y’all better vote Yau together, or one of y’all going home.” The thought is most certainly in his mind.

Dreamz tells us he has a tough decision: a shot at a million dollars or keeping his word. He says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Tribal Council. Dreamz says he knows he’ll go home if he gives Immunity to Yau-Man. Yau says his gut tells him Dreamz will live up to his word. He then tells Dreamz, “Whatever you do you’ll have to live with it.”

Jeff asks for a decision. Dreamz says....

“I’m going to keep it.”

WOW. Now that’s a great Survivor moment. A low-down dirty moment, but a GREAT Survivor moment.

After voting, Dreamz whispers an apology to Yau. Yau amazingly doesn’t strangle him. He’s probably too busy worrying about the tiebreaker. The tally reads: Cassandra, Yau-Man, Yau-Man...YAU-MAN!

WOW. AGAIN. Earl turned on Yau-Man too and the game’s best player goes home.

Nothing left to do but jump to the final Tribal Council. Earl gets the first opening statement and says he played an honest and clean game. Not one person ever voted for him, he didn’t have to win a single Immunity, and he wants the respect vote. I don’t think a guy who just stabbed his best friend should be playing the honesty card, and I’m not sure I would be bragging about not winning Challenges.

Cassandra says she was friendly, positive and she stuck with her alliance.

Dreamz says they all know his life story and know the money will help him and allow him to help others.

Michelle gets the first question and asks what was the biggest obstacle they overcame to get there. Dreamz says thirst. Cassandra says her inability to swim. Earl says living at Ravu and going to Exile Island so many times.

Edgardo asks Earl how he found out which of them had the Hidden Immunity Idol. Earl says, “Dreamz.” Edgardo says that’s all and sits down.

Mookie asks Dreamz if he told anyone about their Idol and he says, “Yes I did.” Mookie asks if he considers that a betrayal and Dreamz says no. He says it was a lie and a con but not a betrayal. Bill Clinton would be proud.

Alex yells at Cassandra for who knows what. He then asks Dreamz how he can talk about helping kids when he lied and cheated. Dreamz says the game is separate from real life.

Pardon me, but why on earth would you waste a question on Cassandra, let alone berate her? Yeah, she brought nothing to the table and was carried along by her alliance. It happens all the time. Lydia in Guatemala. Lillian on Pearl Islands. Kim in Africa. Everyone knows certain people have no chance of winning so just accept it as part of the game and be polite. I expected a much better performance from Alex.

Lisi also insults Cassandra. What is wrong with these people? She then babbles all over the place. Completely worthless.

Stacy asks Earl if the money should be awarded based on need. He says they all could use the money and it should be given to whoever played the best game. Of course I agree.

Rocky wants to know when they were the best “kicker” which is his made-up slang for being a manipulator. Cassandra says she didn’t manipulate anyone. Bad answer. Dreamz said he manipulated Yau-Man into keeping him. Earl says he manipulated everyone because they didn’t think he was playing the game.

Boo says Yau-Man was the best player in the game. He then asks Dreamz if he was playing Yau-Man from the start when he accepted the truck or if he changed his mind. Great question. Dreamz rambles for a while before finally saying he thought about what everyone else would have done in the game and kept Immunity for himself.

Yau-Man says because he’s older he doesn’t have the problem of testosterone clouding his brain so he can admit a mistake. He says the deal with Dreamz was a mistake, and he doesn’t want Dreamz to feel guilty about keeping the truck. Yau then asks Dreamz why he changed his mind but Dreamz says he didn’t change his mind and was playing the game from the start. Yau asks Earl why he voted for Yau and Earl says because he knew he couldn’t beat Yau because Yau played the best game.

The votes are cast but not a single one is shown. Jeff walks through space and time and we’re live from New York. Earl is chubbed up and Dreamz has his Jamie Foxx look going.

The final tally reads: Earl! Earl!! Earl!!! Earl!!!! Earl!!!!! For the first time in Survivor history we have a completely unanimous winner. Once more with the WOW.

Moving to the Reunion we learn that Earl didn’t know he was going on the show until a couple days before he left. He admits he hasn’t seen a lot of the show and wasn’t a big fan.

Earl and Yau-Man shake hands and confirm they are still friends. Earl says he knew he won after Dreamz kept the Immunity.

Jeff tries to get the answer from Dreamz that Boo could not. They replay the betrayal (or maybe it was just a lie and a con) and the crowd boos. Boo waves. Dreamz says he never intended to keep his promise to Yau.

The thing is, I don’t believe him. Maybe that was the first thought that went through his mind when he accepted the truck. But we have footage of him saying multiple times that he was struggling with the decision and he didn’t know what to do. Why wouldn’t you just admit that now? So Dreamz either unnecessarily lied during his on-camera confessionals, or he unnecessarily lied during the Reunion. Either way Dreamz has proven he has a really hard time telling the truth.

Rocky and Anthony are sitting next to each other. They make Anthony watch a montage of his awkwardness. Why do we have to torture the poor guy?

Boo’s real name is Kenward. Boo must have been the sound his relatives made when his parents told everyone what they named their son.

Speaking of sounds, Boo says he did in fact tear his ACL in that mud Challenge. Pretty impressive of him to tough that out.

Gary’s sickness was due to thousands of fire ant bites. Remind me not to get bitten by fire ants thousands of times. Gary is sporting a big tattoo of the Survivor Fiji logo. Remind me not to do that either.

Next time on...Survivor: China! There are no hints as to any twists so we’ll be surprised, which is just the way I like it.

So another season of our favorite show has come and gone. What did we learn? The curse of the car lives! In fact its power has grown. Now we know you can’t win the million if you win the car or if you lie to trade for the car. Something to keep in mind.

Yau-Man proved himself to be a class act by taking the high road during Tribal Council. In hindsight his mistake wasn’t trying to make a deal with Dreamz, it was when he trusted Dreamz and brought him to the final four to try and get his Immunity. If Yau would have listened to Boo’s offer Yau would have easily won that final Challenge and then easily won the final vote. Either way it shows how easy it is to not win Survivor.

The more I think about it, Earl on the other hand played a perfect textbook game. He aligned himself with the game’s strongest player and got that player to completely trust him. His ally won all the Challenges and wore the target as the toughest competitor, then Earl pushed him out of the way at the very end and won a unanimous decision. Brilliant.

To answer your question: No, I’m not going to watch the pirate show. But you can bet your booty I’ll be back in the fall as Survivor goes to China.

Awoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

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