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Survivor 13: Episode 13

And the not-rich get not-richer.

I have to mention the opening recap this week because Jeff made a "Poverty put herself on the chopping block" joke about her machete accident. Well played, sir.

Day 34, and I have to laugh every time I see Yul in his shredded green t-shirt. Just pull a Hulk Hogan and tear it off already.

The Reward Challenge is something out of the MTV Gauntlet playbook. The Survivors roll around in a mud pit and have to carry mud over to a bucket without using their hands or arms. The winner sends someone to Exile and the top three all get an overnight stay at a spa resort.

Jeff watches the wallowing and says it's "like watching bad performance art." Ozzy's bucket is almost full and it weighs in at 45 pounds. Patrimony's mud tips the scales at 24 pounds. Adam settles into third place at 22 pounds. Sundra and Becky both have 20 pounds and are out. Yul is the last contender and with 22.5 pounds he bumps Adam for the final spot. Ozzy adds to Adam's pain with another trip to Exile Island.

Back at camp, Becky talks to Sunda about Ozzy dominating everything. "This is his element," she says.

The winners are still covered with mud on their plane ride. Poverty says Ozzy is her only hope for breaking up the I4 alliance.

Adam eats raw sea stuff and lets bugs crawl on him.

The electricity goes out at the spa during dinner. Tribal dancers come in with their traditional island wonderbras.

After some drinks, it's time to get naked in the hot tub. Is this the Real World? Are you sure I'm not watching MTV?? Ozzy appears to be enjoying the attention and says he might "play the game with Poverty."

Day 36, and Becky tells Yul that Ozzy should go next. Yul tells Becky and Sundra about Patrimony flirting with Ozzy.

The Immunity Challenge is walking over balance beams, assembling a puzzle and maneuvering a ball through a sweet table maze. Ozzy wins by his biggest margin yet. Yul didn't even have his maze assembled, and Adam and Sundra hadn't even made it across the beams once.

Adam asks Yul if he's going and Yul says he doesn't think so. But then Yul tells Poverty that Adam is the bigger threat to him and Ozzy.

Ad and Pov talk to Oz. Ozzy says if he voted with them and lost he'd get voted out. Adam tells him they're going to turn on him anyway because he's winning so much. Ozzy tells us he might be voting for Sundra.

Yul breaks up the powwow and tells Adam not to try to sway Ozzy. Adam seems intimidated and thinks he's now in trouble.

Yul wants to give Jonathan his hat back so he brings it to Tribal Council. Jeff allows him to put it in the jury box and permits Jonathan to thank Yul. Jeff says that was the boldest move he's ever seen by someone trying to win a jury vote. Poverty says Yul has been playing "seamlessly" from the beginning. Yul admits he was trying to ease Jonathan's resentment.

Poverty votes for Sundra, and Yul votes for a mystery someone whom he says he underestimated.

The tally reads: Sundra, Pavarotti, Pavlovian, Sundra, Parcheesi…Pardonme. And Poverty is now Bankrupt.

Next time on Survivor: The finale this Sunday! Yul the Brain. Ozzie (spelled differently than the rest of the season) the Dominator, Becky the Crafty One, Adam the Outsider, and Sundra the Heart. The what? That's like being told a girl has a "nice personality."

So we're promised "the biggest surprise yet." Well, they have to do something because there are still too many people. We usually go into the final day with four Survivors and we have five. There are usually only nine people on the jury but we already have seven.

I can't see them eliminating one of the final five and not letting them sit on the jury so unless somebody gets really injured, they're either going to have a bigger jury (and risk a tie) of they're going to have three in the final Tribal Council. Neither idea sounds all that exciting, so I hope I'm missing something.

The only thing we know is it won't be Poverty getting rich.



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