But before we begin, the CBS site gives away the tribe twist so if you want to be surprised stay away until next week.

Here are the 16 new Survivors with no spoilers:

Aras is a 24-year-old from California. He played pro basketball overseas, he has an MBA, so naturally he is a…yoga instructor. Also, his name spelled backwards is Sara.

Austin is 24 as well, and he is an author from North Carolina. He has a published novel and he models on the side, so he's a little better looking than Edgar Allan Poe.

Bobby is from L.A. and he's 32. He has a law degree from Stanford and sweet tattoos.

Bruce is a 58-year-old Japanese American so, of course, he's a karate instructor. Don't you love when this show breaks down the walls of stereotypes? Bruce went to the same university as this really hot woman I know. Go Matadors!

Cirie is a nurse from South Carolina. After Guatemala, they should have one on every show. Cirie is 35 and lost thirty pounds before the show. Don't get between her and the food rewards.

Courtney is our fourth person from the greater L.A. area already. She's 31 and she once lived in caves in India. She is working on "documentaries that promote world unity." And she hangs out with circus performers.

Dan is a 52-year-old from Massachusetts. He has four college degrees including two doctorates. He was a college professor. He owns a company that builds robots. Oh, and he spent over 700 hours in space as an astronaut. Good heavens. On top of all that, he's trying to become the second consecutive winner named Dan.

Danielle is a Medical Sales Representative living in Florida. She's 24, from Boston and was playing soccer on scholarship before injuring her knee. She did a little modeling in New England. She's got "future aspiring actor" written all over her.

Melinda is a 32-year-old singer from Tennessee. She used to sing at Dollywood. If they gave out Grammys for huge smiles she'd have a drawer full.

Misty a 24-year-old engineer. She was Miss Texas Teen USA. She apparently shops for hats at the same place as Danni and she has the same faraway look in her eyes.

Nick is 25. He's trying to get into law school. He's from the greatest state in the land but he went to a very, very bad school.

Ruth Marie is from South Carolina. Her pageant crowns include Miss Teenage Greenville and South Carolina Watermelon Queen. She was a cheerleader and flight attendant. She's 48 and still wears pigtails.

Sally is 27. She was social worker and high school soccer coach. Then she got divorced and now she's a waitress/bartender in Chicago. She looks much better in her pigtails.

Shane Powers is 35 and from Los Angeles. Where else could a guy named Shane Powers live? He's got a tiny bio, which usually means he's got something to hide. Sure enough, a little research reveals a shady acting past. Not quite like Thailand Brian, but pretty close. Shane already has a Day 26 beard and a ton of hair.

Terry is 46 and he flies planes. He's from Connecticut. He was in the Navy when "Top Gun" came out in 1986. That same year Terry was flying the very same F-14s. Coincidence? You decide.

Tina is a 45-year-old Wisconsinite. She works in logging sports, which means people pay to watch her chop wood. Tina has enough hair to make Shane feel like he needs Rogaine.

If you have already been corrupted by the official site, be sure to watch the two-and-a-half minute preview video. It gives you a brief look at each Survivor without giving away any more secrets. It's narrated by some strange voice but it's interesting. I'm happy to report there will be no shortage of weirdoes this season.

So what's going to happen in Panama? Who knows. The question is what exactly they're going to do with the Exile Island and how that's going to affect Immunity, voting and overall strategy.

Who's going to win? You know I stink at guessing that too. But keep this in mind: The young men never last (bad news for Aras, Austin and Nick), and one "undeserving" person usually makes it to the end (good news for people like Melinda, Ruth Marie and Tina).

Get ready for an Exilent season of Survivor!

(Sorry.)

Back to the Survivor 12 Index
Dang Fun Home