I just realized this is the 10th season of Survivor I've covered here at DangFun.com. What is wrong with me? If you've been reading for that long, let me know, and I'll feel sorry for the both of us.
(I also realize most of the old seasons haven't been completely transferred over from when the site moved. I will get to it eventually. Maybe by my 20th season.)
It's Day 4, and the Younger Women get some papaya out of a tree. Misty calls it "almost orgasmicly wonderful." Enough already. You're four young girls who like to wear teeny bikinis and flaunt your goods. We get it.
Over with the Older Men, Shane is on the verge of tears because he's missing his son. And the cigarettes.
It's time for another twist already. The four tribes will become two. Terry is randomly chosen for the new purple tribe (Casaya) and Danielle is the first member of the orange team (La Mina). Each person picks someone from the opposite sex and the new tribes end up in this order:
Danielle > "cool guy" Shane > Courtney > Aras > Cirie > Bobby > Melinda
Terry > Sally > "fast guy" Austin > Misty > Nick (she knows him by name) > Ruth Marie
The means Ruth Marie has the final pick between Dan and Bruce. She picks Dan and Jeff tells Bruce the good news is he's safe from the next vote. The bad news is it's because he'll be on Exile Island. He will be replacing whoever gets voted out next.
The Reward Challenge is a huge obstacle course. As an added bonus one person from each tribe will have to collect and carry six huge wooden snakes. Casaya chooses little ol' Courtney to be their "snake wrangler," and Sally is suddenly wearing knee-high socks.
La Mina has a slight lead heading into the final section (a monster box of leaves) and they hold for the victory. Their Reward is fishing gear including ye olde Hawaiian sling.
At their new camp for the first time, Shane is very happy to be with younger people. Cirie is, like, annoyed with, like, the way Courtney, like, talks. Melinda knows she and Cirie are outsiders. Sure enough, Shane makes an alliance with Aras, Courtney and Danielle.
On the other beach, Dan and Terry are happy to still be together. Terry recruits the two other guys, Austin and Nick, and says they should stick together until the merge. But then Sally approaches Austin about a young-person alliance with her, Misty, and Nick. What's a young man in a John Deere hat to do?
Over on the Ex-isle, Bruce gets a written version of Misty's clue, plus a clue of his own. It's a drawing that shows areas on the island where the idol is not. He breaks the flint and can't make fire, so he does karate instead. Makes perfect sense.
By the way: The Japanese guy knows karate and he's named Bruce. Did they just put that on the application for all Asian-Americans? Good grief.
The next day La Mina goes to test out their fishing equipment. Terry is teaching Sally about the spear and says, "Just remember to hold onto it." One.
Sally and Nick are out on the raft. She says, "I just don't want to lose it." Two.
Sally takes a practice shot with the spear. It flies into the water and sinks out of site. Three. Sometimes it's just that easy. Having her out there was like Donald Trump saying, "You're afraid of money and you can't balance your check book? Here, run these five companies."
At the Immunity Challenge Shane tells everyone that "physically, we're wrecked." Good poker face.
This is the first Challenge ever involving a "giant zombie head." They have to get an anchored-down leaky boat to shore then put the head on the zombie body. And avoid getting their brains eaten, I suppose.
La Mina takes the lead because, as Jeff says, "Casaya is absolutely inept." La Mina wins for the second straight time.
Now Shane wants to quit. He tells his alliance and Melinda, who goes and tells Cirie and Bobby. Aras pulls Shane aside and tells him to just give it one more day. If he still wants to leave the next day, Aras says they'll vote him out.
So now Aras calls the group together and says Shane doesn't want to quit. Then, get this, he tells Cirie and Melinda he doesn't know who he's voting for but it's going to be one of them. Right to their faces. Shane jumps in and says it's true because they have a four-person alliance. Are you kidding me? At least Courtney is smart enough to realize how dumb Aras and Shane are. Like, yeah.
Tribal Council, and Bruce comes in to observe his new tribe. Shane admits he wanted to quit and tells how he stopped smoking the day before they arrived. This guy really needs a verbal filter.
Cirie and Melinda are naturally upset about the alliance. Melinda doesn't think it's right to keep someone who was even thinking about quitting when people like her really want to be there. Cirie says she'd be really disappointed if she left already, and she plays the poor-family card.
Melinda votes for Shane, and the tally reads: Shane, Shane, Melinda, Melinda, Melinda, Melinda. She's gone and that means Bobby voted with the blabbermouth four.
Next time on…Survivor: Misty flirts. I'm stunned. There's a very physical Challenge in the dirt, and Shane gets more crazy. I'm stunned again.
Don't you love how idiots are drawn together like moths to, uh, other idiot moths? Shane can't hold onto a thought for three seconds before blurting it out, and Aras alienated half his team before the very first vote. I hope these two didn't already spend the million bucks.
Like, see you next, like, week!
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