It's digestive health day on Survivor. Pull up a stool and enjoy!
Casaya celebrates the removal of Sally, and Shane tells Danielle they're going to be the first tribe to stick together to the end. He's right, if they pull it off.
Bruce is experiencing strong stomach pains and we hear a lot about his lack of pooping.
Treemail brings some dolls that each Survivor has to personalize. Cirie gives hers "the right amount of curves."
It's That Challenge, the one where you chop the lines of other players to eliminate them, tempting you to reveal the true pecking order within your alliance. To make it even worse they are combining it with the quiz where you anonymously answer negative questions about your tribemates, then you earn your chops by guessing who was the most common answer to each question. This is gonna get ugly.
The winner gets a helicopter trip to a spa for a shower, massage, dinner and overnight stay. That person also chooses the next resident of Exile Island.
I couldn't leave out any of the questions because they're all pretty painful:
Who does the least for the tribe? Danielle. (Terry is taken out with the first three hits.)
Who never shuts up? Courtney.
Who mistakenly thinks they're running the game? Shane. (Shane takes it personally. Aras eliminates Bruce.)
Who would you trust with your life? Cirie.
Who would you not trust to watch your back? Terry. (Weak.)
Who is the biggest "poser" (or "poseur" for you French speakers)? Courtney. (Aras is the only one who gets this one right. He's good at guessing these.)
Who is the moodiest? Shane. (Courtney chops Shane for a second time and he is very upset. Danielle is eliminated.)
Who is the most easily intimidated? Courtney.
Who is the most annoying? Courtney. (Everyone gets it right but her, and this is the question that knocks her out. Nice. Cirie has to eliminate either Shane or Aras and she chops Shane saying she made a promise to Aras. It's down to Cirie and Aras.)
Who would never survive on their own? Cirie. (Cirie correctly guessed herself while Aras said Terry. Huh? Cirie chops Aras' final rope and wins!)
No surprise: Cirie sends Terry back to Exile Island. Now the tricky part: She has to pick two people to join her for the reward. Shane, Danielle and Courtney start openly begging. Cirie ends up picking Aras and Danielle. Shane is LIVID. He kicks the dirt like a six year old and yells that picking Danielle was a mistake.
Cirie tells us she made her decisions based on with whom she'd have the most fun. Back at camp Shane says he thought he had a three-person alliance with Aras and Cirie but now he doubts her. Courtney is really hurt by being the answer to all the questions. Bruce is getting worse and fast.
The winners talk over dinner and Aras says Shane and Courtney are very similar. Danielle thinks Courtney has a crush on Shane. That is hilarious and terrifying at the same time.
Night 25, and Bruce is in really bad shape. They have to call in the medic and Bruce starts convulsing during the examination. They have to carry him out on a stretcher and Shane is butt naked. That would make me writhe in pain too.
The next morning Shane and Courtney talk about not turning on each other. Shane tells the camera, "She's so scary, man" and "She is a dream to take to the final two. Anyone can win against her."
When the feasters return Shane pulls Aras aside and starts laying into him about Cirie. Shane says he's only looking out for himself now because he has been carrying Cirie-"all 300 pounds of her"-on his back the whole game and she still took lazy Danielle over him. So, yeah, Shane just didn't take the bait from That Challenge, he swallowed the hook, line, sinker, half the boat and a third of the lake.
Cirie tries to make peace with Shane saying they're still together. He makes her swear on her kids and she does. Shane goes back to thinking he's in control of that threesome.
Day 27, and Jeff shows up. He says Bruce had to go to the hospital and his entire digestive system was blocked. He'll be fine but he is out of the game. They're hoping he can come back in time to be on the jury. Wow.
.
.
.
.
.
(Pause.)
.
.
.
.
.
(Wait for it.)
.
.
.
.
.
I always knew that Bruce was full of crap.
Grossly inappropriate jokes aside, that's a really tough break for Bruce. Except for quitters like Palau Jeff (ankle) and Peal Islands Osten (heart), he's the first player to leave due to injury since Michael from the Outback, right? Am I forgetting anyone?
From a game standpoint, everyone else gets off easy. The individuals in Casaya don't have to tip their hands yet, and Terry gets a freebie on his quest to run the Immunity table.
Next time on…Survivor: Shane says a piece of wood is his "Blackberry" and he's communicating with home, Jeff pulls something magical out of his pocket, and Cirie somehow battles a big fish.
Oh, good. Thank you, Shane. It's not a real season of Survivor until someone teeters on the actual brink of mental stability. Now put your pants back on.
Back to the Survivor 12 Index
Dang Home