But first, let's take a peek into the Dang Mailbag, shall we? Sandra writes in and says, "I hope you have found a suitable buff for your baby!" That is a great idea. Given the frequency with which Miss Katarina soils her clothing, we should just dress her in a full-body buff. Then anytime she makes a mess we can just rinse her off in nearest croc-free lake.

Night 3, and as Nakum returns from Tribal Council, Bobby Jon says he's been there so often it's like he's paying rent. Good one!

The next morning the members of Yaxha are basking in the afterglow of their victory. Everyone says they get along great. We learn Rafe is gay. Wait, one of the Ivy League students is gay and it's not Brian? Easily the upset of the week.

Back at Nakum, Blake is having trouble breathing. Brandon isn't sympathetic and tells us Blake needs to "man up."

The Reward Challenge is a race across a net to get a to a rope web suspended over water. You have to crawl on the underside of the web and retrieve a hanging bag. If you fall in the water before you get your bag, you have to go back to the beginning. There are eight bags for each tribe and every player must attempt the course at least once.

The Reward is a slew of fishing equipment: hooks, line, worms, etc. It must look like heaven to Lydia.

Surprise! I'm not gay!

Amy sits out for Yaxha. Don't cops have to do this kind of stuff? Bobby Jon leads off for Nakum and instead of crawling with his hands and feet under the web he uses only his arms and falls behind. Not a good one.

Cindy has a great run and catches them up. Stephenie regains the lead for Yaxha and we're neck and neck.

But then Rafe is gravity's first victim. To complicate matters he's too worn out to climb up the ladder out of the water! Nakum has a big lead, and Rafe is missing a shoe.

Judd goes thud (or splash) and Yaxha has life again!

It sure was nice of the big strong men who went first to leave the bags on the back end of the web for the girls. Brianna falls in for Yaxha, but they go on a big run and Jamie catches them all the way up.

The final bag is Blake vs. Brian. Brian's hetero strength isn't enough and Blake pulls it out for Nakum!

The next morning they go fishing at the "butt crack of dawn" according to Brandon. They catch a few and put food on the table.

Yaxha has to forage for sustenance. Rafe finds a big dead grasshopper but no one wants it. I'm shocked.

Gary notices Morgan isn't working that much. Lydia makes a minnow trap. Rafe and Gary bring back a nest of ants and start chowing down. Stephenie decides to pass.

Lydia brings back ten minnows! It's as if she mongers fish for a living.

Over at Nakum, Blake is gasping for air again. Didn't he just win the last Challenge? I sense some fakerness. Judd isn't buying it either. He talks to Brandon about how Blake lies around all day, and Margaret encourages him to do nothing. Judd wants to get the glory at the next Challenge. "I'm going to be the hero," he says.

Blake's miraculous (but temporary) recovery.

Get this: Danni of Nakum says she recognizes Gary! I went and looked up his NFL stats. He threw more interceptions than touchdowns over his career, and he's most famous for coming off the bench after the starting QB was injured in the 1982 NFC Championship Game and throwing a pick that was returned for the Redskins' clinching touchdown. In other words, Danni identifying him is really impressive.

The Immunity Challenge is a tug of war in a big mud pit. But instead of one long rope, there are individual ropes connected to the rope in the middle. Look at the back of your hand. Now imagine there's a Survivor at the end of each finger and they're running away from you trying to pull your arm off. It's like that.

If neither tribe is able to pull the other team to the end of the pit after fifteen minutes, they'll go to one-on-one tiebreakers. Jeff says you're allowed to run over and impede the progress of the other team. Brianna sits out for Yaxha.

Five seconds in and Bobby Jon has on his distorted "I'm trying way too hard" face. Neither side is making much progress. Brian runs over and drags Danni back to his side, almost ripping off her pants in the process. OK, we get it, you're straight.

I don't understand the man-handling strategy. Sure, you're removing one person from their side, but aren't you removing the same amount of pulling power from your side?

Sure enough, we have a stalemate after fifteen minutes. The individual battles will last five minutes and the person who moves forward the furthest wins. It's a best of three and teams can send the same person out there as often as they want.

Judd lines up against Gary. As they tug, Danni yells out that Judd should win since he's built like a linebacker but Gary is just a quarterback! Gary is surprised and not amused.

Judd is dominating and is about to win when Gary stops pulling, runs over to Judd and tackles him like he just threw another interception. Needless to say, Judd wins that round. What was Gary hoping to accomplish there? Was he going to hoist Judd onto his shoulders and carry him back over the midline?

No, not my arm!!

Round 2 is Jamie vs. Brandon. Brandon is smaller but he's got country spunk. He takes a big lead and Jamie tries a Gary. What are they thinking?? 2-0 Nakum.

Judd is back to go for the win against…Jamie? Didn't he just lose to a guy half his size? But Jamie digs deep and has the lead. Judd relaxes and Jamie stops pulling, content to just let the time run out. But at the last minute Judd surges ahead, catching Jamie by surprise and dragging him far enough for the victory. Nakum wins their first Immunity!

Back at camp Jamie talks to the other guys about voting Stephenie off first. Yay! But Gary doesn't like it because he wants to preserve the team's strength. Booo! Amy finds out about it and tells Stephenie. She says it's "retarded" to vote off strong people early.

Later Brian asks Gary if he played in the NFL, because that's what Danni told him, apparently while he was de-panting her. Gary flat out denies it. So that's why they were playing this up. I have a feeling the quarterback is going to get sacked.

Gary tells Rafe and Amy he wants to vote off Lydia or Morgan. They ask Stephenie and she says it should be Morgan. Brian also tells Gary they should lose Morgan. You gotta keep the monger!

Brian tells Lydia her name is being mentioned so she should fight for herself. Lydia pleads her case with Gary, but he doesn't give her any straight answers.

At Tribal Council Stephenie says everyone has welcomed her. Jamie says Stephenie plays "like a boy." Lydia defends herself, saying she's proven she can endure. Morgan says everyone's been honest.

They vote. Brian casts his for Morgan and Morgan writes down Lydia.

Jeff goes and tallies the votes. They read: Morgan, Lydia, Morgan, Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. Both tribes were unanimous in their first vote.

Yaxha made Morgan disappear.

Morgan's mom says they have a spa appointment waiting for her when she gets home. Morgan says she feels naïve and doesn't know why they voted her off. That's not naïve, that's dumb.

Next time on…Survivor: Nakum has their first encounter with the crocodiles and Amy hurts her ankle.

It's been kind of a slow start this season. We need some characters to step forward. Hopefully the croc adventure will bring out some craziness.

Don't forget: The new Amazing Race begins on Tuesday! It'll be four-person family fun!

Naively yours,
Scott

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