Super Bowl XXXVI

Hi folks,

As promised we're going to take a look at some of the other TV out there before Survivor returns. I figured what better place to start than the self-proclaimed Biggest TV Event of the Year, the Super Bowl.

The listings said the game started at 6 pm Eastern/3 pm Pacific, so I turned the TV on at ten till. When I saw a bunch of ex-presidents talking about Abe Lincoln I thought I had on A&E by mistake. But it was a nice reminder that this isn't a normal year for sports of any kind.

Random question: How come when an orchestra finishes playing the conductor gets to take the bow? All he does is wave around a stick.

Paul McCartney fires up the Super Dome crowd with a song about freedom. Did anyone else notice that most of the performers in the Tribute to America were foreigners (McCartney, U2, Barenaked Ladies, etc.)? They may have done that on purpose but it seemed a bit odd.

Next was the Charles Schwab Super Bowl Kickoff Show. Yes, there's a sponsor for everything. I was waiting for the guy to say, "Your next bathroom break is brought to you by Frito Lay."

Finally we get some football players. It's time for the team introductions and the giant inflatable men. The Patriots choose to come out as a team instead of as individuals, making the Rams look bad. Pats 1, Rams 0.

Great ready for a ton of Fox promos. One of the first is for the "special" Boston Public where there's a school shooting. Typical Fox. You think the teachers will stop having sex with the students in time for them to get out?

Please rise for the National Anthem. Mariah Carey?? The last time we were at war we got the still-memorable Whitney Houston anthem. Didn't Mariah just get fired by her record label? Maybe she's supposed to represent all the people who have been laid off. She does her trademark squealing and we're ready for some football.

Not quite. It's "A Very Special Coin Toss Ceremony." Good grief.

Wow, good lineup though. A former Super Bowl MVP and the 41st President of the United States. Again, Mariah Carey was the best we could do??

Just as big a competition as the game is the battle for commercial superiority. The first new one is Schwab, with Hank Aaron doing a "Field of Dreams"-type calling for Barry Bonds to retire. I'm a baseball fan. I give it a thumbs-up.

At 3:40 Pacific time we finally have the kick-off. It's about time.

Yo Murphy receives the kick. Great name.

Bud Light has their first commercial entry, a Battle Bots spoof where a mini-fridge crushes a monstrous robot. I like it. Yes, I am easily amused.

E*trade (what's with the asterisk?) has 2 bad commercials in one. First a monkey musical that's supposed to be bad, then the monkey in a rocket which is supposed to be funny. It's not. Yes, even I have standards.

Then we get the much-anticipated Britney Spears ad, which is a montage of Britney in different eras from the '50s to today. Nothing special. Just a bone for the adolescent males in the audience.

The Rams make a field goal and it's time for my favorite part of any football broadcast. After a team scores it goes: commercials, an 8-second kickoff play, more commercials. Just painful.

Quizno's has an ad where a non-toasted sub company shoots a survey participant with a blowgun to make her choose their sandwich. That's good stuff!

Bud Light is back with an ad featuring a trained falcon. Eh, bring back the mini-fridge.

OK, this mlife better be something good.

Yahoo has a talking dolphin that learned to talk because of yahoo. Blah.

Back to the broadcast we get a shot of some troops in Afghanistan watching the game. There's a delay in the transmission so at first we get a few seconds of them just sitting there staring at the TV. I was thinking, "Man, they're disciplined. They're on national TV and they don't even flinch."

Next break brings us Kevin Bacon doing a Visa check card ad. That's 6 degrees of not funny.

The 1st quarter ends with the Rams only ahead 3-0. The Patriots are stoked.

Budweiser has a serious New York commercial with the Clydesdales. Am I a bad American for not liking this one? Whatever happened to the Bud Bowl? Those were the days.

Next is Lipton Brisk Iced Tea with a claymation Danny DiVito. Yikes! We're going downhill fast.

Then it's some ugly new Cadillacs. They really shouldn't but those new boxy looking cars next to the classics if they want people to buy the new ones.

The Patriots' defense scores when Ty Law returns an interception for a touchdown. Wow, that's what they had to do to have a chance. Will they make a game of this after all?

More from Bud Light. Do they own Fox? We see a woman agonizing over which greeting card to pick while her man just grabs one. Nice. Bud's 2-1 in my book (I'm abstaining on the New York one for fear of being deported).

Levi's has a commercial with a crazy-legs dancing guy. Yes! I want to be THAT guy.

It's halftime with New England up 14-3. The Patriots are ecstatic.

I'm not a big U2 guy but I was really impressed with their performance. Just having a band play a couple songs was refreshing compared to the lip-sync medleys we usually get at halftime. Then the very cool listing of all the 9/11 victims, and Bono flashing his U.S. flag jacket lining. Excellent work, guys.

More commercials. Smirnoff Ice weighs in with their funny white-guys-sneaking-into-a-rap-video spot. I approve. Especially since Pookey, T-Money, and Romeo happen to be names of the guys in MY posse too. Small world.

Ouch! Terry Bradshaw just murdering the words to "Hard Days Night" with Paul McCartney. Paul was a lot better sport than I would have been if I was one of greatest musicians on the planet.

Mlife is a cell phone?!? And they promote it with belly buttons? I officially hate mlife.

Blockbuster video has a hit of a commercial with their rabbit/hamster (guinea pig?) booty-shaking ad. This is Super Bowl Lorisa's big winner. She likes the booty shaking.

The 3rd quarter ends and New England leads 17-3. The Patriots are freaking out.

Hey, it's a shot of the troops standing around not aware they're on TV again. You'd think they would have worked this out beforehand.

Bud is back again with a guy talking about his girlfriend's tushy to his parents. This one's a winner too. I like the tushy.

Quizno's has another commercial with the survey theme, this time with the guy using a guillotine to keep people from selecting the toasted sub. That's good. And so are toasted subs. Mmm…

"Greg the Bunny" is coming soon to Fox. Stay away. Stay far away.

Wow! The Patriots win 20-17 on a last second field goal. What a great game! The Rams come back to tie but the huge underdogs prevail as time expires. New York lost the World Series but the sentimental favorite won this time as the team called the Patriots wins one for America. Not bad.

If you were smart you turned off the TV right then. If you were like me you saw a bunch of people babbling during the post game show. What was the deal with the non-stop confetti storm? It was like El Nino hit an Office Max.

Tom Brady wins the MVP award and gets a funny looking Cadillac truck. Why is Caddy making trucks anyway? Then there's a Pat Summerall tribute and Pat and John talk about how much they love each other.

And then it's almost 8 pm Pacific. Man, I feel sorry for all of you on the east coast. A two and a half hour game stretched out over 5 hours and then you have to get up in the morning for work. But it's all worth it, right? You got to experience the splendor that is the Super Bowl.

Today, we're all Patriots.

Have a great week!