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Practice Makes Perfectly Confused

The Godfather

If you're going to have a baby for the first time, and you have no idea what that means, you tend to try and cram as much training as possible into the nine months of pregnancy. So where can get we get some kiddie practice? We did a little babysitting. Now what?

Godfathering. It worked for Marlon Brando, right?

My good friend and his wife beat us to the baby finish line and they asked Lorisa and me to sponsor their child at his baptism. We were very honored and agreed to do it, even though I have no experience doing that either.

It turns out, as far as this particular baptism, you don't do anything. We just stood there silently like we had gotten lost looking for the bathroom. At least we had a good view.

So now it's our job to help make sure our godson minds The Big Guy Upstairs. Say your prayers.

The Meek Shall Inherit The Road

I find myself driving more cautiously now that we're expecting. Or, less like a maniac, depending on which spouse you ask.

No longer do I race ahead to pass someone before making a right turn. Now I calmly make my way into the right lane as early as possible and give the person in front of me plenty of space. At times I can even be seen doing the unthinkable and allowing to merge in front of me. The horror. If I could just leave the house earlier I'd be the world's best driver.

Niece To Meet You

How inexperienced am I with children? I wasn't even an uncle until a couple months ago. But my baby brother and his wife just had my parents' first grandchild so now I'm unclified.

Lorisa and I recently took an extended weekend trip to Kansas to see our new niece. I had an interesting experience in that I find myself getting jealous of her parents. I was thinking, "Why are they hogging the baby? They should give her to me." Having her scream in my ear multiple times didn't even deter me. That's a good sign, right? It's a lot better than thinking, "Keep that puking thing away from me."

What did I learn after four-plus days with a two-month-old? For one thing, babies are the most fickle beings on the planet. One minute they're happy as can be and one minute--no, make that one millisecond later, with no discernable changes in their environment, you'd think someone was giving them an atomic wedgie.

And when they cry, oh man, do they cry. How does such a powerful force come out of such little lungs? My ears are still ringing.

But I loved it all. Every day I was excited to see the baby. I couldn't wait for my turn to hold her, or feed her, or try to calm her down. When we left for home, I immediately missed her. I still do.

The plan is for the three of them to come out and see us shortly after our baby is born. Uncle Scott is already looking forward to it.

Disclaimer: Scott is just practicing his baby skills. Look for the tale to continue in about a week.