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Baby Seeing and Sitting

It's a….

Sonogram Day is very exciting. We had this one underlined on the calendar for a long time. We would finally get to SEE the baby.

The images were amazing. We saw a great profile of the head. There was a clear shot of a little fist. We could count five perfect little toes on an extended foot. Just miraculous stuff.

The Baby's Profile

Then our technician asked if we wanted to know the baby's gender. We had decided we did want to find out. I'm not going to lie, I was hoping for a boy. I love sports and I was looking forward to teaching a son how not to play as bad as I did.

The technician moved the seeing thing around. She froze the image. "These two bumps right here," she started. Two bumps? Baby nads? Wee family jewels??

"…are her labia." And she wasn't talking about an eastern European country. She said she was 99% sure we were having a girl.

No World Series dreams just yet. But I'm not any less excited about having a baby. A little girl. MY little girl. Since she's not going to have a big brother, she's going to have one bad dad. Giddyup.

Adventures In Babysitting

We live in a very isolated society. Nowadays the "family" usually consists of just the parents and kids, and everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. Back in the days when we had tribes and clans, four or five generations might be living in close proximity. You probably couldn't walk two feet without tripping over some children. Siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, there were little ones everywhere. You just grew up taking care of children

Five Perfect Toes

Not any more. Lorisa and I, full-fledged members of the American 21st century, have next to no experience with kids. We figured we'd better get some practice in so we agreed to watch our friends' one-year-old while they went on an anniversary date.

Oh my.

Let me say this first: Everything went fine. Our little guest stayed mostly entertained, she ate, we changed a couple diapers, nothing got broken or bloody, and she peacefully fell asleep before her parents picked her up. It was a positive experience and I'm very glad we could do it.

Now that that's out of the way…. Oh my.

No Jewels

Little kids must have nuclear reactors in their kidneys. They just don't run out of energy. If they see something, they want to go over and grab it. If it's fragile in any way, they really want to grab it. They are occupied with a toy for about fifteen seconds. They just…don't…stop.

It was on this evening that we were introduced to the "Baby Einstein" series of videos. Those Einsteins are still geniuses. The videos are ridiculous collections of animations, and puppets, and animals and kids, all put to music. They are completely nonsensical. But they held our visiting child's attention like the vice grip she put on her bottle during feeding time. The list of the world's greatest inventions now reads 1) the light bulb, 2) sliced bread, 3) Baby Einstein videos. There is no debate.

God bless Mr. Einstein and all his babies.

Disclaimer: Scott is just someone who won't be making his living as a babysitter. Look for the tale to continue in about a week.