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Talkin' 'Bout Love

We like to talk about love. When we see an old friend the talk quickly turns to, "How is [insert name of romantic interest]?" or "Are you still with [boy/girlfried you don't really like]?" Yes, dealings of the heart are popular topics of conversation. So let's talk about that love thing, shall we?

Even people who aren't in love what to talk about. They often ask, "Where do I go to meet good people?" My response to that is, "What do you mean by good?" Figure that out and then go where those people are.

You can't meet Mr. or Miss Right unless you know what's so right about them. Are they athletic? Join a gym and go often enough to get to know the regulars. Do you want to meet an intellectual? Take some classes at the local community college. Is spiritual compatibility the most important thing to you? Visit different places of worship within your belief system and say hi to the cutie in your pew.

It cracks me up when people lament about a relationship gone bad but when you ask where they met their now ex they say, "Oh, in a bar." I have nothing against having a good time at the tavern but you have to realistically look at things. Who tends to hang out in bars? If overpaying for alcohol isn't at the top of your list of must-have traits, don't expect to meet your dream date on the stool next to you.

Another line that often leads to head-shaking is, "I don't care what my friends think, I love her." There's a reason our friends are our friends. It usually means we have things in common, and there is a level of mutual admiration and concern. In other words: Your friends like you. They're trying to help you. If ALL your friends say someone is bad for you there's a real good chance they're right. Extra shame on you if your buddies have had "told you so" privileges over you in the past.

Family members are more iffy. It's up to you to determine if they have your best interests in mind, of if they just have unrealistic expectations. But if you are on good terms with the specific family members giving advice, and you would also consider them your friends, take what they're saying seriously.

But if you thought that one was bad, check out this doozy: "Yes, he has a girlfriend but he's going to leave her for me." Famous last words. Never ever EVER date a cheater. There are absolutely no exceptions. If this person has any sort of decency about them, they will officially and completely end their current relationship before starting one with you. No two ways around it. Starting as the "other person" means your relationship is being built on lying and betrayal. Those aren't exactly building blocks.

You ever have this conversationů

You: "How are things going with your girlfriend?"
Friend: "Not too bad."
You: "Good to hear! You think there are long-term possibilities with this one?"
Friend: "Oh, I'm not going to marry her or anything."

Where's the logic there? Why be with someone if you know there's no way it'll ever last? You should always have the future at least in the back of your mind as you romantically move forward with someone. If you care enough about them to date them, you at least owe them that courtesy, right?

I'm not saying everyone should get engaged before they start dating. You may not know if the answer to "Is this The One?" is yes, but as soon as it's no, you should probably get out.

If you're going to indulge in nothing but casual dating, fine, but you get no sympathy when your relationships always end badly and you leave an ever-growing trail of people who hate you. Leave the complaining to those trying to find the real deal.

May you find the love of your life and have all your romantic dreams come true. But if that doesn't work, at least you'll have something interesting to talk about.

Disclaimer: Scott Terrell is just a hopeless romantic. Love at your own risk.

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