You're selfish. Your priorities are completely out of whack. All you care about is getting cool stuff for Christmas. And I'm going to show you how.
It's all about the Christmas list. The simple-minded just look at it as a grouping of items that may or may not be purchased. You're too sophisticated for that. You know that the best Christmas list is a vehicle for yuletide manipulation.
In other words, here are some tips on how to get all the stuff you want!
1. Start now!
You'd better get moving, buster. There are crazy people out there who have been Christmas shopping for two weeks already. You don't want to give them the "you never gave me a list" excuse when you unwrap socks.
2. You can never ask for too much.
They say you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Well, you don't get 100% of the stuff you don't ask for. Words to live by.
3. Ask for something more expensive than your best item.
If you put a DVD player at the top of your list, people will say, "Whoa, that's too expensive." But if you put a Complete Home Theater System on your list, suddenly one little ol' DVD player looks like a bargain.
4. Don't put cheap stuff on your list.
We call these Sympathy Items. You list a bunch of stuff you really want but then you start to feel guilty and throw something like sweat pants on there. Trust us-you ask for something lame and you're going to get it. Guaranteed.
5. Don't include things you'd buy anyway.
Items like razors, lotion, and candy have no place on a Christmas list. You'll take care of those out of your regular budget. This is your time to cash in. Go for the gold!
Keep these simple tips in mind and you'll have a Merry Christmas for sure. Yes, it's better to give than to receive, but remember-no one can give if they don't have someone to receive, so do your part to complete the Circle of Gifts.
Bonus comment about That Reality TV Franchise I Won't Be Following Any More…
Here's all you need to know about Trista and Ryan's Wedding: Their first dance was to Ryan's first poem sung by a cowboy named Paisley.